Sunday, May 24, 2009

come on, let's die until we live — part #445979

I wish I wasn't so tired from last week, but I am. I'm fine, nevertheless. But I'm feeling more & more irritable lately. Could be PMS again, or the Mercury retrograde unleashing its wrath before it finally ends this weekend. Despite a wonderful breakfast & a nice cold bath with great-smelling stuff this morning, I cried myself to sleep again. (Well, long story. It wasn't just something I did out of the blue. It's just too heart-wrenching to talk about in detail at this time.) Not even making a quick trip to our usual fantastic weekend market yesterday to have lunch with my Breakfast Club helped. I really need a break, & I can't wait for the next weekend.

(Anyway, I had shepherd's pie there in lieu of my staple lasagna, Chinese shrimp dumplings, & my favorite Wagyu beef shawarma, then washed it all down with cold Coke Zero. YUM! I was so full that I didn't eat until this morning, & I think I dozed off just before 9pm last night, hehe, yikes. Gott Sie Dank! It was also fun catching the cool resident saxophonist there, who played the Super Mario Brothers theme just before we left, whee! That so cracked me up.)

I'm also happy for the new sheer blue-&-gold starry pouch I got for my Mystic Faerie Tarot deck from my cute Breakfast Club cohort / mommy-figure Joy. :D The original orange organza pouch that came with the set was ripped & I keep forgetting to have it sewn back into place. I'm bad with needlework, as you may know. I'm a disgrace to the female species like that, hehe. I keep forgetting to pick up a nice pouch or two at this novelty store in the mall closest to our office. I forgot I left it in my locker at work along with my old Sacred Rose deck, & so while I was rearranging my cards in the pantry, & my friends had to pick me up to have our perpetual after-shift meal, she handed it to me, & she'll fix my other pouch when she gets the chance to do so, yay. Pardon the blurry shot yet again.

My Mystic Faerie Tarot book & deck on display

Remember how I wanted the Manga Tarot by Selena Lin & the Tarot of the Magical Forest for my birthday last year? That was also included in my wish list back then. Just when I thought it'd be impossible to score one for myself, my esoteric pal Francisbear was nice enough to tip me where to find one, & it was magically close to work even! I got it reserved, but the first deck I got had the Ace to the Eight of Pentacles missing (gadzooks!) & I demanded for a replacement. Good thing the bookstore was prompt with the response, & so on my actual birthday I went back & got my final set. :D

The Mystic Faerie Tarot deck is so light-hearted & easy on the eyes, & it's my other most popular deck, next to my Golden Tarot by Kat Black. The latter, however, is a more morose choice, but people seem to like it because of its golden edges & classic appeal. The former is good to use around teenagers (my youngest querent ever was 7 years old, though!) & girls/women in my age bracket. The last card I got from it earlier before putting it back in order was the Knight of Cups, which was surprisingly what the last card as well in the Sacred Rose deck. Too bad I can't find images of that anywhere, but oh, look, there's a 2009 Calendar for the deck from the illustrator. The Knights in the deck are female, btw, as are the Knaves. I like the Knight of Swords best, who looks prettiest, methinks, but the Knight of Cups was a welcome sight to behold just the same, if we were to consider its divinatory meaning.

the Knight of Cups from the Sacred Rose Tarot

Lo, & behold, the proverbial knight in shining armor, all dreamy, hopefully with love.
Taken from the Sacred Rose Tarot deck.

I hope it also means I could have a chance to visit Spain one day, haha, especially with this blurb I got in my e-mail. Madrid, here I come! Seriously, it's one of the least thought-of destinations I have in my list, as I'd rather bask in Iceland for the full exotic experience, but I can't help it. I wonder if I'll ever get to travel with a lover there, HAHA, or meet someone who could eventually sweep me off my feet when I least expect it again. Not that I really care. I still find romance & dating cheesy, even if what I feel now is like what Kristin Scott Thomas said in Four Weddings & A Funeral,
"Well, the truth is, I have met the right person, and he's not in love with me,
and until I stop loving him, no one else really has a chance."
Sigh. That's one quote from that movie that will forever be etched upon memory.

Maybe I should just really get more sleep to prepare for the whole new week ahead. I love what has to say about what's in store for me this season:
In your 9th House of Expansion, the Sun stirs up your desire to step outside your comfort zone and explore new territory. Unplug from the busyness of daily life to travel, meditate, and get a higher perspective on ordinary reality. The Super-Conjunction helps you identify what you need to release to free up more space for fun, romance and creative pursuits. Take the risk of making your happiness a top priority.
So dead-on, I tell you. I'm revisiting yoga & food trips like what I keep babbling in my older posts. I'm also focusing on my Warbook mage (Level 46 FTW!) especially with all these other empires to pillage, hehe. I'll just make do further with what I have & try not to kill myself during off-peak hours. My horoscope was so accurate, too, for yesterday:
Saturday, May 23rd, 2009 -- You may be tired of always being the one who's nice to others while they don't even notice much of what you do. This is tricky ground, for part of your graciousness comes from the fact that it really makes you feel good. If you're doing things for social approval, however, then your frustration can grow when you're not being appreciated. Instead of harboring any resentment today, just retreat a bit until you are in better spirits.
Yeah, I'm taking a long break, lest I'd snap again & totally lose it. Which brings me to my actual topic in mind, but I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow.

For now, let me just note how this is an interesting take on clutter:
The location of clutter in an environment, reveals the content of a person's inner struggle. The absence of disorder empowers us. As we are connected by energy to everything in our might want to review the following and check to see where you may be struggling in your life:

Entrance door = Fear of relationships
Inside closets = Unwilling to examine emotions
In Kitchen = Resenting/overwhelmed by caretaking
Next to Bed = Desire for change or escape
On Desk = Frustration, fear of letting go, or need to control
In a corner or behind a door = Detachment from others
Under a piece of furniture = Importance of appearances
In a cellar = Procrastination
In an attic = Living in the past
In a garage = Inability to actualize
All over = Lack of self-love or anger and self-loathing
Oh, heavens, no. :))

Friday, May 22, 2009

thanking my lucky stars before catching some shut-eye

Despite my sleeplessness & other problems, I still have a lot to be thankful about. I've been thinking about it everyday, trying to focus on what I have more than on what I lack, which is inevitable, I'm afraid, especially during my supposed waking hours at my day job. But I honestly love my life right now, no matter how everything looks bleak.

So, yeah. I love it when people open doors for me. When cab drivers get me to my destination quickly without overcharging. When strangers hail the bus for me. When people say they like my nail polish & how it makes my hands & feet look nice (I'm sporting blood-red again now, just when I'm about to keep my nails bare for a while) even if my hair's unkempt & my fashion sense's disastrous just the same & my skin's breaking out, no thanks to PMS. When our household help gets the job done efficiently (i.e. cooks, cleans, launders, irons, & picks up after our junk) because she can be quite unaccommodating & snarky. When people think I'm "cute" because I don't look, sound, or act my age (which I think is to my great disadvantage sometimes) despite my deepening facial lines from all that scowling & crying & skipping sunblock, hehe. When my customers thank me profusely for my assistance. When I get high scores for just about everything, whether at work or in Warbook (Level 46, FTW!) When salespeople take time to check if I can order or reserve my choice picks (I'm getting my 3rd Mythic Tarot deck & the Vertigo Tarot reprint soon, hopefully). Whenever a friendly neighborhood hairstylist brings life back to my hopeless coif when I least expect it. Whenever virtual friends strike up nice lengthy conversations. Whenever I meet up with smart, sophisticated querents. Whenever I get to hitch a ride home. Whenever there's papaya with coconut yogurt (trust me, it's one of the best things I've tasted this year!) Whenever I get my cheap French vanilla coffee fix. Whenever people make me jump the queue, because I'm forever in a hurry. Whenever people are sympathetic to my plight du jour. Whenever I can get to see the crush at/from a safe distance, haha. Whenever I can read noteworthy online articles from Time Magazine or BNet, et al (with a dependable internet connection!) Whenever my adorable brother decides to hang out with his klutzy blah big sister & looks after me like no other. Whenever I get a good night's sleep (which I hardly ever do now!) especially after a nice soothing full-body massage (I need to get more, seriously!) & a nice long cool bath. Whenever I can see blue skies & fluffy white clouds, with the cool breeze lulling me to Zen amidst the scorching sunshine. Whenever my trips back to & fro home take less time than expected. Whenever I get special treatment, because I hardly get any to begin with & I'd end up being taken advantage of more often than not. >:( So everything nice's a big deal like that.

I love Dove's Night Calming Bar, Lush's Porridge soap, Victoria Secret's Pure Seduction body wash, this limited edition Sunsilk Summer Fresh shampoo, my warm toasted bagel with cream cheese & cheap-ass Caesar salad fix, Orly nail polish (in Enchanting or Monroe's Red; cheaper & longer-lasting & more textured than Essie lacquer!), non-cloying perfume, & my staple Uni Pin drawing pens, .08, hehe. Not to mention my silver + lilac badass SkullCandy headphones (I hope they won't break, though!), & my four-post bed, & airconditioner, & our black digicams that I've yet to learn how to work properly. There's a whole lot more, of course, but for now, I better go back to sleep, even if only for a few more hours.

How about you? What little things in life are you grateful for today?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

so do you like my sense of style? :P

Hello again. Time for the requisite update. I keep getting distracted, though, especially now that I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm coming down with a cold after undergoing my 4th physical therapy for my back, enduring lack of sleep these past few weeks ever since I got sick, & struggling to get home from a late lunch yesterday with my wonderful Breakfast Club cohort Rache. All's well, though, even if I'm feeling rather glum again. Whether this is PMS or not, I'm rather having a hard time shaking it off. But maybe another long snooze should cure this. Plus I'm doing my best to be amused with music I so love from my youth, like Towa Tei's:

Butterfly.mp3 - featuring Ayumi Tanabe

Towa Tei's brand of Shibuya-kei = FTW. ♥

I love his collaborations with Kylie Minogue (for German Bold Italic) & Miho Hatori (of Cibo Matto & Gorillaz fame, for Mind Wall). Both videos are irreverently superb, & I get a kick out of avant-garde kimonos & surreal animation every damn time. I also love Kylie Minogue (who's a Gemini, with her birthday coming up on the 28th, no wonder!) & Miho Hatori (I wonder what her sign is?), but not as much as I adore the guy's music. Now I'm off to have his blog translated, hehe. Check out his hilarious Mars video, too. He's Virgo, btw, yikes. :D My brother's already complaining how I'm playing all of his stuff I like out loud on loop, but I don't care, haha. He used to be a huge drum & bass fan like me. I'm so getting a kick out of Mind Wall & Milkyway (with a fresh, happy video!) & Taste of You, which greeted me from Towa Tei's official website. I swear when I get the chance, I'll have him over to play for my party someday. It'll be colossal. Haha, a girl can dream, can't she?

So, yeah, I'm really not your average tarot reader, & speaking of surreal, I want new tarot decks again. There's the Deviant Moon Tarot, that I found out from Tarot Dame's blog (check out all her comprehensive posts about it), & there's the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot, that I espied at a while back. Fucking amazing decks, if you ask me. I want them STAT. Before my birthday at the most! This year's theme seems to be running on macabre, no thanks to my El Gran Tarot Esoterico deck, but I also would like to have Corinne Kenner's delightful-looking Epicurean Tarot Recipe Cards for kicks. :D I like food & cooking, too, even if I really don't do the latter much now.

In order to cheer myself up further, I'm just thinking about learning how to make aromatherapy oils & scented candles for my own consumption soon. My favorite place to avail of those is rather hard to go to, especially during scorching weekends, & I'm getting frustrated. Hopefully I can start by the end of the month, & the Breakfast Club can go someplace interesting (READ: away from our usual haunts!) again. There's organic food, & liquid nitrogen ice cream, & maybe even a Hong Kong teahouse-style luncheon that I'm interested to check out. Yes, I am THAT bored with my life, & maybe it has something to do with Saturn finally turning direct. Hooray for my horoscope taken from
Week of May 18, 2009 — You're on a quest to reinvent yourself this week, Libra. However, the question you should be asking yourself is why. Yes, you want to change your life, but you don't need to completely revamp your personality. On Wednesday, Venus, your ruling planet, is quincunx stern Saturn and your sense of personal dissatisfaction may accelerate. Remind yourself that you're OK as you are. You may decide to jazz up your daily routine on Thursday and seek new diversions. You have a tremendous gift for art and music and you might join an art guild or choral group.
Hehe, yikes. I know I'm still a long way off from improving my actual physical appearance, but I really do need a drastic break from everything. Changing our karma does take a lot of work, however, but it's more often than not fun. For this, I bring you the card for the day (actually, there's 2 of them):

the 3 of Wands from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot by US Games

Three of Wands
You may need to take the lead, or assume responsibility for keeping your vision in motion, and while it may become tempting to rest on the laurels of your initial success, this will be merely a milestone on the way to greater manifestations of your goals. Enjoy the early fruits of your labors, even as you may begin experiencing a sort of nervous excitement, or anticipation building as things start to fall into place. Your motivation is internal, your energy, dynamic. Use your powers of intuition, premonition and foresight to keep you from prematurely jumping into the next phase of your plans. Success is in sight, but you will need to stifle any impatience, or any tendency towards overconfidence, or arrogance, or by the same token, any unconscious fears of success, as this may delay or set you back. You will be entering the homestretch, and you can expect long-term approval, reward, or perhaps even a vacation or trip that can further validate your thriving enterprise.

Oh, remember how in my previous post I just mused on random things seem to magically make themselves known quickly right after you'd think about them? Well, aside from that Vietnamese place that I got to check out (& I'm coming back for the weekend brunch specials), here's another thing I've been complaining about to myself, then voila! I know I would like to have a traditional wedding someday at some point, but I can certainly do away with the bouquet-tossing & the garter-tugging rites, thank you. Instead of rice grains being thrown at me, I would prefer rose petals, hehe. Or maybe instead of expecting a poor single gal pal to lose face while trying to grab a bouquet thrown their way, I can just raffle away the damn thing! Now all I have to do is get fit enough for a decent gown, & inform my groom-to-be about my decision to get wed. That is, if I can find one. :P I blew all my chances almost 2 years ago, after getting engaged for 3 years before it, so there. Watching Four Weddings & a Funeral again has just made me feel worse. I love the Funeral Blues poem very much, though.

I thought that love would last forever... I was wrong.

But I've always thought it wouldn't! At least, prior to my said engagement.

I might as well leave you with the 2nd card of the day, that wonderfully complements the first one:

the 8 of Cups from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot by US Games

Eight of Cups
How you respond to your situation or crisis can be a turning point. Refocus your perspective or re-examine your needs. At worst, you could be experiencing depression resulting from stress or burnout. You may have an opportunity to release old patterns, secrets, or guilt by taking up a spiritual quest in an effort to discover a deeper truth or meaning to your life. Don’t be afraid to move on when you recognize the natural conclusion of a phase or state. Be ready to turn away from the familiar, put the past behind you in search of opportunities that are in line with your heart's desires. Don't allow yourself to settle for mediocrity. If you find yourself asking "Is this all there is to my life?" then the time has come.

Yep, both card images taken from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot. Le sigh. ♥ LOL, I like the circus act take on the 3 of Wands, & the figure in the 8 of Cups looks more like it's happy to be going out into the world for a splendid vacation! I'll probably look like that on my next getaway!

So please bear with me if readings for this week until the end of the month will have to be done only on Saturdays, starting from 1pm, until further notice. I need to get a hold of myself & take care of my runny nose. Send me some love by voting for my blog & giving me feedback.
Thanks so much. :*

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Earth to S.P.!

I know I should be catching up on sleep but this week's excitement's driving me nuts, haha, & I mean in a good way. Ever since I got this blog back up (& don't worry, I'm still working on it — & I really am thankful for JR!) I just want to post everything I've been meaning to for the longest time. & then I get sidetracked, & so there's so much more now to blab, haha. But of course, that's good, or so I'd like to think.

Interestingly, this week's lunar phase has a lot to do with my adrenaline rush:
Moon in Capricorn
May 12, 2009 to May 14, 2009

Maybe you noticed. Things have gotten more serious with the Moon in Capricorn. No-nonsense suits around the office. Discussions about rules, disciplines, hard work, and respect. Virtues that make employees squirm and bosses feel lonely. Structure-everybody hates it until something unruly occurs. Physics says a vast and wild emptiness dances between the molecules in a chair. But we don't fall in due to the structuring thought in wood, respecting our need for a solid place to sit. That's Capricorn in your life, structures that support. Its energy inspires your achievements and fears (funny how both can be motivating). Face a fear today. Be the authority in something. Devise a business plan. Recognize that diligence is nothing more than keeping what you want in mind. Strategize with a wise old one. And do something especially nice this Moontime for your skin, bones or knees.

True, my skin needs extra TLC these days, & my knees hurt lately. :( & I was just discussing with a young Capricorn friend how I'm so surrounded with people born under Earth signs all along. 2 of my Breakfast Club cohorts at work are Virgos, my young mommy-figure at work who makes yummy cream puffs is a Capricorn, then I have repeat Taurean patrons, then my productions associate/Grand Vizier Em Alberto's Taurean (happy birthday!), & my dear one & only brother's Virgo. My other productions associate, our resident auric reader/dream interpreter, is Virgo as well. Then I have Plurk pals, haha, who are Capricorn. My late kid sister's best friend (R.I.P.) was Capricorn as well. Le sigh. I kinda like this older Virgo guy, too, but Virgo guys as prospects just scare the hell out of me sometimes. Whatever.

Before I discuss my take on Earth signs & how my life's drastically affected by such (even our cool head honcho in my division at work's Capricorn, if I remember correctly), let me just rave how getting a hold of this e-book has sent my heart racing. I'll blab how I did in full force later, but I have Lornadahl again to thank for it! :D Let me just share my favorite quotes from it that made me think of tarot:
From Robert Kiyosaki:

In my opinion, our main job in life is to make life here on earth
a little bit more like heaven.

True leaders inspire us to be bigger & do things we are afraid of doing.

Find the environment where you thrive.

From Donald Trump:

Give yourself a little freedom to develop into something
or someone you'd actually like to be.

Life is full of risks. We don't have total control - much as we'd like to think we do. But we can reduce the risk & increase our leverage by becoming educated, making moderate choices, & keeping a positive attitude. A lot of people have been great successes when the supposed "odds" were entirely against them. They won because they decided to take control of their destiny & refused to give up.

You may not have control over a lot of things, but you can start with yourself. Brainpower is the ultimate leverage. You've got a brain; use it. Winners take control by accepting responsibility.

The biggest risk we all face is not moving forward with what we've learned.

If something is going to affect your life,
it's best to know as much as you can about it

From Steve Forbes, from A New Birth of Freedom:

The real source of wealth & capital in this new era is not material things - it is the human mind, the human spirit, the human imagination, & our faith in the future. That's the magic of a free society - everyone can move forward & prosper because wealth comes within.

HAHA. Can you recognize the cards that correspond to those quotes? Of course, there's the Star, & the Fool, & the Magician, & the Emperor, & the Chariot, & the World, even the 8 of Pentacles. Do you think the Death card has its place there, too? Let me know. ;) Funny how I stumbled upon the said e-book just when I've updated my Blogspot profile. I used to have this blurb as taken from an old personal emo blog entry sometime November, 7 years ago or so:
"I've just realized I'm really a lousy person. A lousy daughter, a lousy sister, a lousy student, a lousy best friend, a lousy leader, a lousy follower, a lousy housekeeper, a lousy reader, a lousy writer, a lousy psychologist, a lousy consultant, a lousy young adult, a lousy overgrown child, a lousy music aficionado, a lousy significant other. The fact that I'm living in a lousier world doesn't help at all. Not one bit."
I still feel that way sometimes, seriously, but there's no room for self-pity now, especially when my being a 'soothsayer' at my day job requires me to be more confident of myself everytime I transact with customers. Besides, I shouldn't let my hangups from my past get to me anymore. I didn't realize that blurb was still there on my overall profile, so I'm letting go of it now. Who would want to be stuck forever with a lousy self in a lousy world, anyway? Not me. I still dream of a better country & a more educated society — & I used to yakk about it with my would-be best man when he least expects it, hehe. I sure hope that we'd finally redeem ourselves & live Life wondrously very, very soon. & didn't I just reference in my previous post? :)) Here's to my success in the realm of finance, then, haha. (Ugh!) I'm so getting the actual book ASAP.

But this post is mainly dedicated to my friends who feel quite, uhm, rather "useless" right now, because of the drat Mercury retrograde & the current global crunch in this oh-so tricky Year of the Earth Ox. (Double ugh!) Again, I can only stress how you should savor your supposed downtime for this period! I wish I had more time to spare for my other pursuits! :D I'm doing the best I can, though, so far, with what I have. I hope you folks would, too. Again, good luck & have fun!

& if my horoscope earlier this week isn't any more indication of how I think I'm on the right track:
LIBRA -- Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 -- You are able to step outside of your normal perceptions today, allowing you to see your life from a whole different perspective. The truth about how your efforts fit into the larger picture might come as a shock to you, especially if you have been overly concerned with just getting your job done. But now you aren't as worried; you'll finish your work on your own timetable and not anyone else's. In the meantime, continue to widen your horizons as much as you possibly can.

All I want at the moment is more sleep, really. :)) But I guess I better get going.
I need a long bath, too, to begin with.

Anyway, please vote for my blog for this year's PostieCon Awards if you like what you see here! I can't thank my friends who've been nice enough to do so. Haha, keep em coming! Oh, & for people not from my demographic interested to get face-to-face readings from me, please review my requests & schedule. Leave a comment, as always, if you're interested. Please note that requesting appointments for house calls should be made at least a day in advance. Thanks so much. Peace, light, & love.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

"I'd rather be an optimist and a fool"

Happy Mother's Day! Especially to all my wonderful patrons who already have kids of their own. I haven't talked to my mother yet, though, but I'm so thankful for her thoughtfulness last week. She was also trying to give me helpful advice (about relationships, astoundingly) but I had to decline her efforts. My inner brat was screaming deep down that everything worthwhile I know now, I didn't get it directly from her so-called wise words, but honestly, as I can feel myself aging more, I know exactly now where she's coming from. She may have served more as a bad example to me, sadly, than a wellspring of inspiration, but I still care about her & I have to admit, despite everything, I wouldn't want to fail her standards. We're still trying to bridge the gap, even despite what our whole family has gone through, but I'm still happy to live this long to be able to converse with her more openly now. So, cheers to you, Mom. I love you. I hope you'd be able to forgive me completely, & that we'd coexist more harmoniously soon. I wish you more strength to go on with life, better health, more hope, & more happiness, especially from loving friends, who are closer to you physically than we, your children, are at the moment. Always remember, too, that despite everything, Dad loved you, & you loved him so well in turn. Take good care, Mom. ♥

Magnificat Madonna by Sandro Botticelli

Haha, & coincidentally, look what I found at! :D My mom's Piscean, btw, & holy crap, I've had a lot of guilt trips from her. But I understand perfectly well now. :) Oh, & look, feng shui for moms. :D Plus, here's a quick reminder to nurture Mother Earth, hehe.

Anyway, whether or not it's this season's Mercury retrograde's fault that most single people are having a hard time coupling up & some married folks are having an affair, no thanks to a long-term relationship in shambles, I just find it so unfair. But I wish everyone luck. & remember, tread carefully... choose wisely. For all of you dashing single pretties out there, keep thinking happy thoughts! ♥ Hopefully by the end of May we'll have a ball. :D As my personal declaration of self-love, I'm dedicating Lenny Kravitz's "Butterfly" unabashedly to myself, on loop, & his "I Belong To You" song's still on heavy (& I mean HEAVY!) rotation. ♥ It's about time I'd listen to more love songs that end on a happy note, haha. I so love music that I can both play during sweltering summery days & cold, dismal rainy moments! I just realized that Lenny Kravitz is a Gemini all along, & he's celebrating his birthday on the 26th this month! Some fan I turn out to be, huh. :/ Hehe. He's on tour in Europe now, but I honestly think nothing comes close to his older releases. I hope he'd come here someday to perform, & I'll be the first to line up, whatever it takes! :D Yep, Let Love Rule!

Hmm, speaking of falling in love, here's this crazy movie on HBO that made me laugh out loud this weekend right after I got home from a delightful tarot reading session with new referrals:

OMG, where was I when I.Q. was shown in the big screen?! :)) Walter Matthau (R.I.P.) as Albert Einstein was the funniest ever, & I like the way he'd go "WAHOO" haha. I also like this quip from him, "I've always imagined heaven to be one enormous library, only you can't take out the books." That finally sealed the deal. Go catch it on cable while you still can. I'm warning you, though, that the sailboat & Stargazer's Field scenes are cheesy. Ugh.

Here's another line from the movie that I like, by Meg Ryan (as Catherine Boyd):
"Koestler says accidental discoveries aren't accidents.
People have moments of insight and intuition
that they're prepared for by experience to recognise them for what they are."
Is it me, or does it really remind us of the so-called Akashic records?

Finally, let me discuss what I've been meaning to bring up since last week... about Calendar spreads, that are perfect for birthdays & New Year celebrations. I used to try it for only 6 months, though, then I decided to think big & try to "foresee" what's in store for a full year. It made waves with a former querent who joined the US Navy a few years ago, & it made sense to one of my repeat patrions, until recently. But from the looks of it, everything's still right on the dot, but her actual spread's actually overlapped with that from her cousin & her new boyfriend, who are also regular querents, after much review. (Now, what I'm talking about shouldn't be confused with that in finance, haha. Hey, the latter's actually helpful!)

I tried reading for myself last year, for my birthday, with the said spread, & I have to admit, it seemed that the reading wasn't at all accurate for me. But let's try to take a closer look now. I've used the Manga Tarot deck by Selena Lin, & my Significators were the Queen of Pentacles & the Hierophant (not shown in photo, L-R). Again, pardon the rather icky shot. Looks like my cards really wouldn't want to be photographed, or maybe I'm just a big doofus with a camera anyway. Again, click to enlarge, s'il vous plait.

Calendar Spread

September - 6 of Cups
October - 6 of Wands
November - The Hermit
December - Knight of Swords
January - The Fool
February - Page of Cups
March - Death
April - Emperor
May - The Chariot
June - 8 of Wands
July - Knight of Wands
August - Queen of Wands
September - 7 of Cups

Hmmm, I admit I was rather nostalgic on my birthday, missing my old friends & my departed family, but I was also full of hope & ready to start anew, & I have my pretty friend Alpha to thank profusely. It rained like crazy, though, on that fateful day (September 25th), but that's fine. The Mercury retrograde during that time led to a long outage from this blog, & so I had to transfer from Wordpress to my current platform. Le sigh.

October was a bad time for me, so I think the 6 of Wands didn't make sense here. I was forced to take a long leave from work, & I really felt depressed during that time, as I was terribly sick this month, & I got heartbroken repeatedly. It followed until November, but I enjoyed the downtime. But I did isolate all the more as I had to figure out myself back then. I had all these issues surface out of nowhere. By December I was all revved up to go back to work, but the mad holiday rush was just draining. Haha. But I'm still lucky to make it in one piece everytime, & celebrating Christmas then New Year's Eve at work was rather sweeter this time around.

January was awesome. I met A LOT of new patrons, & I can't thank you folks enough for trusting me. I hope to see you all again. I also got the first perfect score ever from our main evaluators in the entire program after the quality scoring revamp, & a coworker was sweet enough to acknowledge it with a congratulatory card. But I also got crazy failing scores from this month, & that followed until February. My scorecards were passing, though, nevertheless, from November. Then March came, & for the first time this year I failed my scorecard. But I got a wonderful commendation from a customer, nevertheless. The beau had to bid me goodbye for boot camp. I also commemorated my father's first death anniversary, & my late youngest sister's supposed birthday. It was nice because I was with my best friends forever LOL & my brother. However, just when I was about to enjoy a long leave from work to observe my mother's birthday, my other best friend's father passed away, on the morning after my family's respective commemoration. I was just thinking about him & his wife, on how thoughtful they were & how we had a chance to actually sit down & talk, because I'm not sure if I left a good impression LOL when I met them a decade ago. I still have their envelope that they signed when they offered their condolences for my family during my father's wake. It was nice seeing my best friend again after 10 years, though, & reconnecting with her sibs whom I've grown fond of as well, & meeting my first ever goddaughter in person. :D

Uhm, then April? I thought I was on my way of passing my scorecard at work, but because of my absences last week or so, I can just kiss that chance goodbye. I still have until this month to redeem myself so I don't have to be subjected to a performance improvement plan, whew. But I got another commendation, & it always feel nice to get one or so, you know? I'm also thankful that we're up & running again this month, & that my blog caretaker JR's very helpful. :D I'm also happy to have repeat clients, & as of this month, I got pleasant feedback that one of them finally got moving, after much delay. :D Oh, & I'm really happy for my new clients this May. Thank you, really! Yay. I wonder what else is in store for me this month. I just hope I can take more pictures, though, like this one:


Now that we've discussed this spread, I've just realized it does make sense after all! The 6 of Wands bit was the only thing that was rather out of place, but maybe if I can remember what else happened during that month that corresponds a bit to the actual card meaning (mmm, success!) maybe that'd work. Not bad, eh? Let's just hope the rest of the year would unfold nicely. The remaining cards look promising, anyway.

Let me leave with you with I think should be the tarot card for the day:

Look to someone who represents this Queen for you as a guide or model of common sense and appreciation of the gifts of Earth. He or she may be a good businessperson, parent, or other practical, resourceful, or creative being who has the ability to surround others with a secure environment. Be ready to work hard, be efficient, and confident, and She might give you, or someone you know the oppportunity to put plans into action. Don't expect Her, however, to be anything other than who She is. You may be excitable, impulsive, or chatty, but She probably is not. You may come to an agreement over food and drink. Allow yourself some time to indulge in reading, or spending time with pets, or plants. Specifically, She may challenge your beliefs, or offer you the opportunity to join or choose a path or plan.

I love that rendition from the Golden Tarot deck so much, as she reminds me of The Blessed Virgin a lot. I'm a Marian fan, as you may know by now.

Up next, dream interpretation, DIY aromatherapy oils & scented candles, psychic flashes in the form of how random things magically make themselves known quickly after you'd think about them a couple of days ago or so, & maybe a closer look on the Celtic Cross spread, if not on my other feeble attempts to go artsy-fartsy with a point-&-shoot. For now, enjoy the rest of the week!

N.B. If you want face-to-face readings, let's meet this Saturday, starting 1pm! If via e-mail, just leave a comment, & we'll discuss! :D Don't forget to leave your contact information so I can get in touch with you quick. Follow this blog, too, with ease. Toodles!

Monday, May 04, 2009

on melancholy & the infinite sadness

Hello again. ♥ Sorry I've been gone for so long. The mad rush of trying to relax & get checkups because I was so sick last week got the best of me, & I'm still waiting for my final results, with one last consultation to go, for now. Wish me luck. I'm actually scared shit, but everything should be fine, or so I'd like to believe.

I had a wonderful time last weekend, though. I've to thank my doting mommy figures from work who went with me to the clinic while my brother was still on his way. Thanks so much. I hope you ladies were able to rest at home. I'm also very happy for my brother for keeping me company & letting me play Sunday X Magazine from his PSP (I like Ban Mido from the GetBackers! ♥) to kill time, & for bearing with my idiotic girly antics the whole afternoon, especially when I was ogling at a few pieces from Balenciaga, Vera Wang, & Omega; & while we binged on vegetarian pasta after watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine. (Yay, Daniel Henney as Agent Zero is my new onscreen crush, LOL, aside from Figaro Zeng in They Kiss Again)! Our trip back home was super sweet! I wish it were always like that every Saturday, come sundown.

But I'm still not feeling fine. I'm down in the dumps all of a sudden, especially after hearing from a couple of friends on how their lives are now, after reading for them around last month. It looks like everything was headed nowhere fast to begin with, but I know after all this, they'll rise above the ashes. Beautifully, at that. I really wish them both well. But now I can't shake off the blues, & maybe I need another lustral bath, which is, at the moment, just a long cold shower in candlelight, hehe. Interesting how I gacked this at the last minute online:
The Dictionary of Mythology, Folklore, and Symbols, Part 2, page 1026, tells us about the lustral bath:

From earliest times a method of purification and expiation, frequently attended by sacrifices. Kings take a lustral bath at coronation. Also typifies death, and a familiar incident in mythological stories is the murder of the sacred king or sun hero in his bath.
Uhm, okayyy... @_@ That just reminded me of the 3 of Swords card from the Mythic Tarot deck. That version just made the card's usual depiction more disturbing. But at least with this card per se, it only means that tensions are now finally brought out into the open, & at last, healing can be done. But it's not going to be easy.

The 3 of Swords from the Alchemical Tarot deck

But anyway, thanks so much for the visits, votes, inquiries, & comments. :D More, please. They always make my day. I also learned about the Alchemical Tarot because of such. Tomorrow should be an interesting time with a new client. I wouldn't know whether or not I should cringe or be amused when would-be patrons talk to me over the phone & say, "you sound quite young." Sometimes I still feel like I'm only 12 years old, seriously, but of course that was nearly 2 decades ago! :)) I hope I'd make a difference. My horoscope from a few days ago comes to mind:
Tue - 28 Apr, 2009

Even if someone else makes a change in their life, it can still affect you, and probably more than you actually realize. Allow yourself time to process and reflect.

I just hope all the changes in your lives are for the better from now on!
Yes, I care about each & everyone I come across with!

Speaking of change, I sure hope it comes my way ASAP. Let me share with you this nifty online reading I got recently from, & how this one card blew me away:
For your Love reading, you have drawn the primary card: High Priestess

You may worry that you are being too judgmental, but you shouldn’t. Prefer to think of yourself as discerning, able to see things for the way they really are, able to acknowledge the reasons for your feelings of disappointment and angst. However, you must accept that people have and will continue to disappoint, fail to live up to promises and expectations. And there will always be huge amount of tedious, time-consuming due-diligence standing in the way of your goals. It is ok to bemoan the often painful, stuff of life, but don’t wallow.

The cards say things will remain frustrating for a while but real promise and success awaits you further off in the future. You must muster the strength and patience to wait for your destiny. The only way is straight through, and we are all charged with the task of learning to enjoy the process. Don’t discount the power of deep thought and internal monologue (even if it has taken the form of brooding more times than not). You are doing good work and making great strides internally. You have allowed a measure of truth to sink in and it will take some time before you can act on that knowledge. Serenity is key, now is a time to build a reserve of energy for your desires. Rest assured, the future holds many successes and the attainment of several goals.
This just wholly defined the said card for me. I can't help but think everytime that the main reason why I see her often in my spreads is that since I've defined myself to be a tarot reader, I should simply be all the more attuned to my feelings & intuition, & be more composed as a result. But sometimes I'm just a sappy girl underneath it all, & it's not funny. I wonder, though, how much longer do I have to wait, hehe. Sigh, I wish I can read my own cards more objectively.

The High Priestess from the El Gran Tarot Esoterico deck

Strangely enough, I like how the High Priestess is depicted as Eve in the El Gran Tarot Esoterico deck. She looks more vulnerable obviously than the usual High Priestess in her full naked glory, but it seems to me that she has a secret to spill (if not a whole bunch of them), & we better come closer to her to have it or so revealed. Knowledge is power. Unlocking secrets can be tempting. Knowledge can be a double-edged sword this way. Now what would you do if she showed up in front of you offering you her priceless secrets, all crystallized in that fruit that she's holding? Are you going to take a bite, or consume the fruit altogether? Or will you throw the damn thing away? Or will you give it to someone else? Oh, I'm not really a fan of blatant nudity in tarot decks, but I find her inexplicably enchanting nevertheless.

I'll come back later. There's something else I need to post. & it's about how Calendar spreads can be so 'off-key' but they actually still make sense. Take care now. Gotta run.