o, hai, 2016! (part 1... whoops)

Hello. Happy New Year! Happy New Moon Solar Eclipse week! Haha. Pretty soon, it'd be happy Spring Equinox! I know I've been gone for so long, gomen nasai, & I got caught up with certifying people after promoting so much what I've been doing ever since my last post here. Thankfully, I've certified 10 Basic ThetaHealing® Practitioners, 4 Advanced, & 2 out of the whoe roster have successfully completed the Manifesting & Abundance course. Everybody else got loaded with awesome progress right after the Basic class! I'm so happy for that. & I'm also preparing to teach Dig Deeper, the newest ThetaHealing® elective & new pre-requisite for World Relations, which really opened me up to the modality & my overall spirituality. I took that in Japan last year, & it was amazing to be there in Tokyo, where it so felt like Home. Anyway, I can't wait to pool in my first class for that, which will be super-fun, especially with all the new things I have to share since my DNA3 Practitioner certification last November 2015 (which led to my launching of my new sub-brand Soul Re-Alignment With Abbee) & Soul Mate Practitioner course 2nd review! I also ended up getting attuned at the last minute as a new Divine Alchemy Healing Practitioner during the last Sunday of February this year. Yowza. So it's said that DAH Practitioners are pretty much Reiki masters, too, once attuned. Oh, wow. Thanks so much, Rei!

(Btw, DAH has 2 Monday meditation gatherings along BGC, & their weekly Thursday evening meditations along the outskirts of the Makati CBD. You are most welcome to attend, & the suggested energy exchange rate is only 300php.) 

But while I'm preparing to teach again, a new Basic ThetaHealing® class this weekend, starting Friday, March 11th, from 2pm-8pm (9pm the latest, but lessee...) until Sunday, March 13th; I'm taking a short break, for my Inner Child (with whom I've been reacquainted so much ever since coming back from my trip to Tokyo last year), & She needs me. But if anyone's interested to join, I can accommodate up to 3-4 people more! Reviewers welcome, of course! 

Anyway, here's a blog post (for now) I found by Amy B. Scher, author of the new How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can. This is dedicated to my Inner Child, & to all my new students who are still fumbling to put their new ThetaHealing® experiences to practice. Self-healing is wonderful, but here's a wonderful guide on how to do it, & I honestly want everyone to take it easy while starting out!

I'll come back in a bit to explain further what I'm up to, especially regarding my upcoming class, & my new rates as well as new schedule. For now, hit me up! Visit me on Facebook & PM me! Or participate in my FREE QUICK ONLINE TAROT READING sprees there! I've a new one coming up in a bit, in honor of this week's New Moon. I'm giving them away every New Moon or Full Moon now, & when a (Philippine) holiday comes up. Or whenever else my mood strikes. So stay tuned! (Especially when you're a prospective client, referred here by this particular online forum! Get a quick reading before seeing me! Yeah? & as a special thanks to people who've referred me via FN, you get a surprise on your next visit!)

Enjoy, & read carefully this guide from Amy B. Scher! ^_^;
  

Do you know self-healing is the most powerful kind of healing? Self-healing sends signals to our body that we have power over our own bodies and lives. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves and when we connect with that primal ability, all kinds of awesome things can happen. My life (and health!) completely changed when I started depending less on doctors and practitioners and more on me.

Here are my 5 secrets of self-healing.

1. Find What Resonates with You
   When I was first learning about healing, I read countless books and eventually did several professional training programs to conquer the subject of energy therapy. It becomes very easy to get caught up in what others say about different techniques and modalities. But really, that doesn’t matter. Working with techniques that you are drawn to will have the biggest positive impact on you. When you feel a pull toward something, that’s a little something called your intuition trying to lead you right to where you need to go. Hearing what’s been the best for someone else might give you ideas to explore, but if you get too attached to the path of another, it can detract from your own healing.
   Your healing path will be a unique one, so don’t feel obligated to read every book and learn every modality; just jump in and try what resonates with you. It’s okay to leave all the rest behind. By focusing your energy toward something that feels good to you, you will find also what also works best for you.
2. Don’t Overdo It
   Although healing miracles abound, healing is not always a super-fast process. Just because you know a new technique doesn’t mean you should use it all day long (even though I totally know the temptation). There really is “too much” of a good thing. With energy work, there is often a “processing” that happens as that energy moves out of our field, and until that happens, we might not feel the full shift or improvement. Putting your body under the stress of doing more and more can be counter-effective.
   I can’t say enough for giving your body time and space to allow the healing process to happen. Otherwise, you will only create stress on your body—and that’s not the result you are aiming for, right?
3. Use Your Intuition
   I learned this early on, and it’s priceless. When learning techniques, there will always be explicit instructions. That’s because that’s the only way these things can be taught. However, using your own intuition to alter and revise techniques can make them even more beneficial for you. You may be called to perform a technique in a slightly different way. That’s likely because your mind or body knows that it might work for you better that way. The types of deviations I used in my own healing include things like using my right hand instead of my left hand, holding a pose or technique longer or shorter than stipulated, skipping a certain part of an exercise, and more. All of these things are okay and you should give yourself permission to do them. You might just end up creating something new that way!
   I don’t think there is a single technique I use with myself or my clients that’s exactly how it was taught to me, and I really believe my personal twists make it that much more effective.
4. Don’t Try to Fix Everyone
   Once we figure out we actually do have the power to heal ourselves, we often feel the pressure to want to fix everyone. You might even feel a heavy sense of responsibility to help your loved ones. Sharing what you know with others is awesome, but taking on a whole new job is not a good idea. This is very stressful to your body, especially if you’re not well yourself. If you are still struggling with emotional or physical imbalances, you might resonate too much with other people’s imbalances, which can exacerbate your own. I’ve heard this phenomenon over and over again from practitioners who are suffering from chronic illness: energetically, they match right up with their clients and start picking up on their symptoms. Energy follows a flow, and you need someone to come in with strong stable energy to really raise the vibration. If two people are of a low vibration, it’s not the optimal healing environment for either of you.
5. Ask for Help When You’re Stuck
   There is a good reason to ask for help when you’re stuck, and it’s not because self-healing doesn’t work. It’s simply because a professional has seen hundreds of clients and you’ve only had experience with … well, you. Practitioners who do this all day long have seen patterns and different issues emerge, which gives us an advantage—we can often quickly see what you can’t. Not only that, but this is the best way to learn. I learned so much through my own instructor. I was able to see how she unraveled issues, what she did when we got stuck, and hear lots of stories that resonated with me, which gave me new ideas for my own healing.

Now that you know these five secrets, put them into practice. Start seeing what you feel called to, learn it (but put your twist on it), and focus on allowing your mind-body to do the rest. Happy healing!

a day in the life of this New Age Grrl begins

Today is the last week (& Tuesday) of the first month of the New Year, & we're smack-dab in the middle of a Mercury retrograde (transiting my Ascendant, no less) & a Jupiter retrograde (no wonder my Jupiter return doesn't feel so breezy). But I'm going to be updating, nevertheless, so hello again, everybody. The Moon is in Taurus again now, which I love, so that makes me productive & relaxed at the same time, just before I get more emo & domesticated before it slips into Gemini then finally into my Lunar sign Cancer. I'll be dealing with a lot of home-related matters this weekend until before the first weekend of next month, which means I won't be available for face-to-face sessions until February 7th, 3pm-8pm (for select clients only).

A lot of things has truly changed with me. Today actually marks the last day of my Basic DNA2 class 2 years ago, when I have discovered ThetaHealing®, & I'm still making use of it in my life. It isn't easy changing so rapidly, & I had to employ other methods to help stabilize me: Reiki, Bowen therapy, flower essences (both Bach & FlorAlive), & Millennium Method™ (which I've managed to complete in less than a year last year, & it was a most costly but important personal journey... no regrets). Right now, I only swear by ThetaHealing®, Sacred Activations (founded by a ThetaHealing® Certificate of Science holder), Millennium Method™, flower essences, & Reiki. I only practise ThetaHealing® & Millennium Method™ for now, along with my Tarot readings, & I'm happy with the results these have given me & my clients. Especially my clients. Like my Client of the Year for 2014 just got engaged on NYE, & I have a budding teenage ThetaHealer® client who's sworn to help heal her family & friends drastically, while at the same time who's meant to really be in the limelight as a young beauty queen + global ambassador. I'm so proud. I love breakthroughs.

I'm happy for all my clients who've shifted in one way or another — manifesting a better car than what they've expected, gained more money, landed a better job, traveled when they hardly believed they actually could (& so much more), snagged bigger commissions, gained more confidence for school/work, glowed in better health (especially after reporting to be sleeping so much more soundly), acquired more energy to do the things they love, & finally becoming more in touch with their spirituality (one my best news in my book). Little miracles in the physical health department happened, too, especially remotely — like my client who healed from chickenpox; then another client who healed from some weird inexplicable water retention which targeted her joints, but after my working on her, it was gone the next day, much to her doctors' surprise; then another finally off his braces & PTSD & the rest of his pubescent problems; & a client who got physically 'assaulted' but she recovered IMMEDIATELY after one session; & even my brother who fell off while skating, whose pain (thankfully, only that, nothing else) went away quickly (but as a doting older sister, I had to follow it up with some organic cooling leg & foot gel). 

I already knew I had to be a healer in one way or another (actually, dreaded) when I had to monitor his eventual heart (after looking through his chakras) while he was being rushed from one hospital to another for poisoning a few years back, on our Mars return, just after our birthday month. (He's a Virgo, though, Pisces Rising — while you all should know I'm a Libra, Aquarius Rising.) I thank the Creator that he's okay, but we still have a long way to go. 

Actually, I really was having a huge issue about other clients calling me a "healer" because I had a friend-turned-client-turned-colleague who asked me about her own healer journey, & I'm honored to be part of that, as she healed me, too, at first with Reiki. I mean, my point was, ME? Seriously? But here we are. I did obsess about health even if I was only 6 years old with all the medical books lying around the house & my more-frequent-than-normal trips to the infirmary & all the vaccinations I got subjected to (& I still fucking hate syringes!) I do have medical practitioners in my (estranged) family (e.g., an actual oncologist, a pharmacist, a bunch of nurses). & I still have posts lying around here about my Saturn return in finicky, obsessive Virgo describing how I juggled to get balanced in that department. & I did handle so many crazy health readings via Tarot alone. I even would catch myself telling my doctor or nurse clients mid-reading that, "Wait, I'm not a doctor, so I shouldn't be telling you (insert either a diagnosis or a suggested prescription here), but you can see that this particular case makes sense, yes?" WTH, right? Again, alternative healing methods are just complementary to what we have per traditional medicine. & you should still consult your doctor(s) to track your progress.

I only get Reiki & Sacred Activations from other practitioners. You can ask me about them in private. Actually, I'm posting more now here to be able to feature them soon. But for now I'm learning to hone my present Tools to use on myself, & I'm happy to grow more trust in the Source-Of-All-That-Is as I do it. I fully acknowledge that I can't do it alone, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be lax & let others do all the work (unless it's clearing my space via a housekeeper or a professional organizer, whoops). Healing is a lovely process, & it's a dynamic two-way street. At least now I'm safe to let go, after much discernment.

I still want to be able to talk more about my personal life as I update more here, as part of my healing journey. You'll read more about my silly whims, & more of the reasons why I need to undergo healing myself. Right now I'm just too happy to be more Awakened & Integrated. Perfect timing, astrologically-speaking, honestly, & I can't wait to live my life the way I really want it to, while inspiring more young people (inadvertently, more like, haha) to do the same.

To summarize what else I do aside from give Tarot readings (with my usual astrology & feng shui advice), for your reference:

-ThetaHealing®
a) World Relations (May 2014)
b) Family Ties (Jan 2014)
c) Soul Mate (Dec 2013 - reviewed in Nov 2014)
d) Game of Life (Jul 2013)
e) Plant Communication (LOL) - (Mar 2014) 
f) RHYTHM (Mar 2013)
g) Intuitive Anatomy (Apr 2013)

**UPDATE!**
h) Basic DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
i) Advanced DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
j) Manifesting & Abundance Instructors (May 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
k) Dig Deeper Practitioners (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
l) Dig Deeper Instructors (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
m) Think What You Think (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
n) DNA3 (Nov 2015) - BGC, Philippines

-Crystal Layout Past-Life Regression
a) Basic - Remote Viewing (Sep 2013)
b) Advanced - Soul Travel (Dec 2013) 

-Millennium Method™
a) Relationships module (Mar 2014)
b) Kids module (Mar 2014)
c) Biotoxins (Mar 2014)
d) Empowerment (May 2014) - Wan Chai, Hong Kong 
e) Medical Intuitive (May 2014)
f) Module 1 - Physical (Oct 2014)
g) Module 2 - Esoteric (Oct 2014)
h) Module 3 - Psychoemotional (Oct 2014)
i) Module 4 - Mastery (Oct 2014)


To celebrate, I will be giving specials to people who've stumbled upon this blog via this list that people I keep mentioning about, also to those who've Liked my Facebook page, & you get more specials if you become a regular, especially when you become my next Client of The Year. 2015 is a pivotal time, why not take advantage of it? :D (My silly declaration / TY gift is valid only until February 9, 2015, 9pm, GMT+8; which should be my parents' would've-been-42nd anniversary, btw.)

I would love to talk about each & every class I took in detail, but I'll take it easy on you today. For now, what I can say is, my most favorite class would be World Relations, because that just blew me away...  

& to end this post, for now, here's what my most stubborn client in the last 2-something years has just told me, "I'm able to trust myself more now, thanks to you."

I *am* floored. I'm happy to be able to trust myself more now, too. ♥ ♥ ♥ 

#adayinthelifeofthisNewAgeGrrl 

(updated on May 21, 2015; 3:06 AM, GMT +8)

back in the game

Today is the second Monday of the last month of the year, just a couple of hours before another day unfolds, hehe. Hello again, everyone.

I have been gone for so long. Didn't realize 2013 would be this insanely busy. But this has been a most healing year for me, & believe me, I've tried to rush through it, but I've learned it's better to pace myself; to allow my body, mind, heart, & soul to recover.

I've met a lot of delightful new clients this year, for starters. I play favorites, even if that doesn't sound so savory, depending on their willingness to cooperate, their eagerness to learn, their generosity, their intelligence, even. Especially intelligence. I've always worked with strong personalities. I love it when they're most wonderful company. They inspire me to strive better, to aim for accuracy in my readings & healing sessions everytime, to become larger than life (not physique-wise, please, of course, haha). If they keep coming back (though again, I do NOT encourage codependency), I look for ways to reward them. & I'm glad to re-announce my humble specials for my regulars.

For every 3 paying referrals within the year, I will give a complimentary 30-minute reading online, either on a birthday or a special holiday (working days such as Valentine's, included). So, yes, the more referrals, the more consultations you get. You get a ThetaHealing® session, too, depending on your needs & preference. Especially when your birthday falls on an actual holiday. 

You also get to have the chance to be my esteemed Client of The Year, where you'll get humble little goodies such as wellness products I personally love (I gave facial GCs, lip balm, body butter, & sanitizers the last time), an astrology book (or two), & yes, complimentary services. Plus you get to be my priority in messaging or calling. I'll definitely throw in more surprises soon. My Client of The Year tradition started 3 years ago. The first ever was the Client of The Year for 2 years running. I still love her to bits. Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, Libra Rising. 

The second one, from last year, was a young Aquarian, with also a Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising. She also tried ThetaHealing®for herself, & swears by it, even if she, too, has a long way to go, like I do. She was always thoughtful. I will never forget her because she'd give me super-cool gifts (Kimmidoll keychains, jasmine massage oil, something my favorite bubble bath bar line, remembrances from her Vietnam trip, other accessories) & recommendations. 

Now the bet for this year is a lovely Taurus girl who just survived her first Saturn return. Gemini Moon, Libra Rising. My new meditation series is partly inspired by her. Let's see what happens. 

I also have a young Sagittarian male client whom I always reward after our 6-month-long progress. I already gave him a tiger's eye bracelet (very relevant for his journey), a few free readings with various decks, & extended time. 

& for everyone else who've made referrals to me out of sheer thoughtfulness but haven't made the mark yet for this year's offering from me, will also be remembered. Because I love you guys. Thank you for your trust! There's always my Facebook Page for quick one-card readings that you guys can indulge in, depending on the mechanics du jour, that have churned out pretty accurate readings by themselves, & yes, little random tokens that I hand out whenever least expected. ;)

I do my best to give back, even if sometimes I find myself depleted of anything to give, & I know that I've been always super-generous in every session I have, anyway. As much as possible, I don't withhold answers; I explain things very patiently, ad nauseam; I don't really bill down to the last minute. Though, please understand if I have to charge my rate by the hour, especially when there are people waiting for their turn. 

But seriously, I can't believe how much progress I've made at this point in time, until I meet clients again whom I haven't heard from in a year or so. It makes me think how painstaking my ThetaHealing® classes were. They're just as surprised as I am with how "far" I've gone in this journey. So far I've received certification for Game of Life (pretty much life-coaching, for spiritual people such as myself to become more grounded & succeed in temporal life like everyone else can & does), & RHYTHM (weight management, even if I haven't really bust a move on my body yet, hehe). I also took up basic past-life regression via a crystal layout, & I can't wait for the advanced class in 2 weeks. I know people keep asking me about that before, to which I replied, I wouldn't be able to do that just yet, until I'm really sure I can handle it. But tapping into past lives is so much easier now, especially with ThetaHealing®. Jeezus, so trippy. & I have people confirming them past lives I've seen, to boot! 

My life has changed so much because after all my attempts to keep my Tarot practice grounded, to the point of more as an intellectual pursuit, instead of bordering on hoodoo/woo-woo/juju, I've ended up embracing that side of it, even excelling at working with it, even! HAHA. What. But like I always say, only when it is meant to be worked on can I go ahead with it, to paraphrase Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist. & even before I got comfortable with the idea of me being a "healer," some of my clients already declare me being a healer, especially with how I can zoom in on their health via readings with much precision. & how I've been struggling to figure out to heal myself through alternative means. Instead of me being alarmed with all this further, I've decided to explore it, & yay, I'm actually a full-fledged conduit now. I'm just the facilitator, though. Just tapping into the Source of All That Is to allow it to heal others. Just witnessing how it's all happening. Just guiding everyone through the process. & the rest is up to them, whether they wish to really embrace recovery or not.

Just exactly what I do with my Tarot readings. I just witness things unfold. I just facilitate the actual reading, upon the request of the seeker/questioner/querent/client. I just guide them with the best to my knowledge, or with whatever else divinely inspired comes up, how to go through with things in their life at the time of reading. I cannot really impose myself on them. I don't want to, either. ThetaHealing® is helping me to become a better reader, & I'm doing my best to incorporate that modality into my readings, & vice versa. I am thankful for my one-stop-shop wellness center for introducing ThetaHealing® & making all this possible. Yay. I missed out on at least a couple of very important courses, though, like Diseases & Disorders as well as DNA3 this year, but there's always next year. & I'm praying I'd get to teach this as well soon. I am expecting that by the end of 2013 I'm more at peace, more energized, more determined, & more abundant with blessings. I'm still really managing how to become so. The process of changing, in line with Pluto in Capricorn & Uranus in Aries (squaring off, even, ugh), is painful but definitely worth it. I can't wait to manifest so much more wonderful experiences, trips, & things, not just Tarot decks. Got a couple of new finds, like the Feng Shui deck by the Connolly duo, & the Celestial deck, which was so much prettier than expected! 

Speaking of one of my clients calling me a healer long before I've realized I could actually be one, her delightful Pisces self (Virgo Rising) has invited me to conduct workshops & sessions in her spa somewhere up North. I will be checking it out tomorrow, & trying out some of her services there, since I'm a spa junkie, anyway, even if I don't look it, hehe. I am happy that this is the case, & I am hoping for other invites. I'll be accommodating, as much as my schedule permits. Right now I'm really swamped with Pluto (& Venus! UGH) issues, transiting my solar 4th House. Home repairs are a doozy & I'm itching to have everything revamped before the holidays, when the next Venus retrograde rolls in. But of course I have to pace myself. Everything's just a bit cumbersome now, as we speak, but my brother, housekeeper, my dog, & I are coping. 

Looks like this post has successfully answered all these questions I found at the last minute somewhere online to help me re-evaluate my 2013:

• How has your life improved in the last twelve months?
• What do you do easily now that you once thought was impossible?
• What have you accomplished this year that you couldn't have accomplished three years ago?
• What is one outcome you experienced this year that would have been inconceivable before?
• What are your results this year, compared to your results last year at this time?

So what about you? Do you want help in keeping tabs with your progress? Do you want more progress in life, too? What are your thoughts? If you want help, that's what I'm here for! There are many other avenues of help, though. I will be more than happy to make my own referrals here! & I'm still very grateful to everyone who has helped me along the way, especially this year. I've lost so much & gained so much at the same time. Share away at the tiny comments section, & you might just get a free quick one-card reading from me here! 

Please also stay tuned for my big blog revamp. Can't wait! 

making time for QUICK updates

Yay, I'm back! I can't believe this will have to be my very first post here for 2013. Anyway, I'm really swamped with stuff to do that I hardly even have time to fix my room anymore, but I've promised to myself that this Holy Week will be THAT time for it, & thank God I've even found reinforcements (FINALLY!)

I really have to make sure all my Tarot decks & New Age (astrology, feng shui, what-have-you) books are already in order by then, for easier retrieval, among other things. God bless my babies. Thank you, Universe, for letting me have them.

BTW, a dear return client (Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon & Mars, Libra Rising) actually gave me a copy of my beloved Tarot of The Magical Forest earlier this year, & I really thank her for her generosity. I gave her an Angel Aura quartz bracelet in return, & it looks like she's becoming more spiritual as we speak. I'm really happy for her.

& finally I have a Mage: The Ascension deck in possession, after more than 2 years of getting entranced with it. That was the very first deck that gave me quite an accurate reading, with just 10-11 cards, & I will never forget the 8 of Wands card there, that sharply illustrates how my life is now with  ThetaHealing®. The owner of that deck's last message to me via SMS was, "Remember who you are." I finally replied, "Thank you, I now remember who & what I am," & he said, "Stay Awake." I hope all is well with him, even if we don't really speak to each other anymore, even if I see him around at least twice a month. I am still floored how I got such a rare deck still sealed from a pure, loving source, & I still get pretty amazing results with it. It's still a very dark, scary deck despite how it looks more welcoming now, but I'm really having fun everytime I see the Knight of Swords there (aka the Knight of Dynamism), & I'm reminded of my newfound fascination with Lord Shiva, hehe. It's just funny how me & my fun double Aquarian protege (who also owns this deck & was bewildered to find out I already had my own, haha) were talking about Shiva on a Full Moon (my Lunar return) last December, a month before I received my deck in the mail:

Me: If I have Kali & Shiva as my inner deities, then WHY THE HELL do I still look like this?!
N: Because the Universe loves irony.

WTH. Fine. It sure does. :P

& I really should talk more about  ThetaHealing® in detail, but I'll need more time, energy, & space. For now, let me just tell you that I'm finally a certified Basic DNA2, Advanced DNA2, & even a [R][H][Y][T][H][M] Practitioner, & our Manifesting Abundance module's coming up this weekend. I'm still worrying how I'm going to sign up for Intuitive Anatomy this April, but I should decide by early next week. But I'm happy how FINALLY my uh, healing capabilities are FULLY validated, &  ThetaHealing® makes my readings so much more accurate (& so much more EXHAUSTING, mind you). I'm really overwhelmed with all the friends that I've made; the things I've manifested (like that One Billion Rising movement, for starters, because I'm sick & tired of misogyny) & foreseen (look at the Death card from the RWS deck & you'll know what exactly I saw, among other things in other ways); the new knowledge I'm acquiring (which leads to a whole buncha new books to finish that end up cluttering my space, LOL); & the energy this whole shebang is requiring of me. I've accomplished quite a number of distance healings for friends & clients, & OMG I got fantastic results. I'm still working on my dog, my brother, my surly housekeeper in her late 50's, & MYSELF, but I'm getting there. Should you wish to try it with me, just remember to keep an open mind, & bear with me as we go along. For now I can say it's a very good complement to psychotherapy, but this can do so much more than just that. Like in a friend's case, chickenpox, would you believe? :D It also would take care of my backaches, but I still need to do something about my weird knee pains. (& yes, supplements will still be a huge part of the whole program... don't ditch your traditional medicine just yet!)

My reawakening via  ThetaHealing® can be aptly described by this:

This dazzling piece is called "Blossoming," drawn by one of my favorite local artists + clients Katrina Pallon (Sagittarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Aries Rising, LOL, & I must mention her brooding Mercury in Scorpio & piquant Venus in Aquarius in her 8th House, which would explain that underlying sinister sensuality in most of her works) during her Venus return (yes, post-Ascension, which means it IS a very exciting & potent time for her, ahem) this year. I am hoping to have a replica of her very gorgeous "Oiran in Triangles" later this year, & experience her Tarot-inspired pieces while I'm at it. I was supposed to get that very painting before it was bought by someone else, as a culmination to Saturn transiting my Sun sign Libra (lest you forget), but that period became so difficult that I had to postpone my claiming it indefinitely. Oh, well. It's still funny to think how I met her a couple of years back via her "Crane Wife," & I ran excitedly to her (rather idiotically, actually, holy crap) with The Sun card from my Sacred Rose deck in one hand & the Queen of Cups card from my Chinese deck in the other. Come to think of it, those 2 cards did have a blaring message for her, aside from depict her & her works very accurately. Yay.

Indeed,  ThetaHealing® has left me working with white & pink lotuses like crazy this year, so I'll have my logo redesigned with one or so, to honor my uhm, re-glorified Sacred Feminine (eep).

ThetaHealing® actually helped me survive commemorating my dad's 5th death anniversary last March 11th & my late kid sister's birthday last March 16th. I would've gone completely crazy, but thank God I didn't. I was able to enjoy a few meals out with my brother as a result, especially that complimentary dinner at this new joint paying lovely tribute to native fare with a sweet global twist for our mother's 66th birthday the other night, & we also got to check out an art fair in one of the hippest parks in the metro, which my Painting major late sister would've liked very much. I hope I do well all throughout this month, & until my certification for Intuitive Anatomy (dear God, please help me), & hell, throughout the rest of the year, especially my next Jupiter return (whoopeedoo) until the end of my days (lessee if I finally get to live past at least my 2nd Saturn return!) Last year was crazy, bordering on self-destructive, like you have no idea how. Lessee if this year will be so much more forgiving, considering Saturn is now highlighting my natal 8th-10th Houses, hehe, conjunct my Venus & Mars, jeezus. Remind me to make a yearly forecast for myself again STAT via my Tarot cards.

Anyway, I'll also be celebrating my 8th anniversary for my brand, & with that said, I'm giving away further quick card readings online on my Facebook Page. If you haven't Liked me yet there, please do. Remember, my offer ONLY applies for the time specified, on that post where it would be announced, & for people who actually have subscribed to my Page. I just gave away readings earlier, so I'll be having another round by next week, Holy Week-ish. Probably Black Saturday, who knows? It's usually one of my favorite days of the year. Stay tuned, as I could offer quick readings for up to 13 people in an hour's time. Or even 21 (+8), hehe. Whatever. I like keeping people on their toes, as it's all part of the fun.

If you're still up for Tarot readings face-to-face along the Makati CBD, I'm available next Monday, March 25th, from 11:30am-3:00pm. Email me at sp.lovecraft[at]gmail[dot]com for your schedule. If I decide to take up Intuitive Anatomy right after Easter Sunday, my next schedule should be on Tuesday, April 23rd, 10am-6pm. Let me know, & have patience with me. I have already increased my rates by more than 20% since last year, especially now that I'm doing  ThetaHealing®, so please be advised. (You get more than what you're paying for, anyway, like your astrology explained, one free follow-up answer via email or FB, angel/crystal/color therapy, & feng shui advice!) But I'm working on a loyalty program for return clients, which should include a free 30-minute birthday/holiday (whichever comes first) reading online (via IM) for every 3 paying referrals. I'll keep you all posted, especially those already eligible for the offer. ♥

If you have any questions or comments, let me know here! I want to know who else is reading my posts. If you're brave enough, I can even give you your Tarot card for the day on the spot! :P

For now, let me leave you with an ardent young client's message to me via SMS a few hours ago:

"You're super blessed with your gifts & I'm sure a loooot of people appreciate it." --Anj

Thanks so much! I really hope so! Happy weekend, everyone! Have a very sweet 2013!

Venus conjunct Saturn, Mars conjunct Pluto

Hello again. I'm back. It's the first day of the last month of the year & I want to make it count, even if I've been busy meeting new people & recovering from fatigue + stress since my last post. It's also my Venus return again, & this has yet to be the best one yet. I fell in love once more & I've never felt more alive deep down, despite feeling quite dead before & during my period. Now that my time of the month is over, I'm still having trouble bouncing back, & I keep forgetting I have sleeping pills at my disposal, but I'm glad I've been able to bond with my brother again after a long month of hardly nothing, except for some fleeting TV moments, while watching my favorite Adventure Time series & this special on Hitler on NatGeo.

I'm also getting a new Tarot deck that has been haunting me for 2 years now, also around the time of my Venus return. I'm actually very happy that I'm getting it from a loving, wise source, considering how dark the deck is, to begin with, especially when I encountered it for the first time, but it gave me such an insightful reading about myself & my future as a New Age grrl. I was supposed to have it earlier last month, but with Mercury going bonkers, I waited patiently for things to simmer down. I'm excited to get a hold of it this month. I'll let you all know what it is. My very first card from it was the 8 of Wands, & it felt wonderful seeing how that depiction was, describing my growth. I also got the Queen of Wands, who looked more like a flower child/hippie singing folk songs probably. You all know I listen to much heavier stuff at the end of the day. & then I got the 5 of Cups, reversed. My life has never been the same ever since. Then after another encounter with the same deck, this time from a different owner, I knew it was meant to be mine, too. I was described as a gorgeous Hierophant who looks more like the High Priestess, & can I just say that the Empress card looks exactly like my inner Venus (in Scorpio), only tamer & more foreboding?

Ever since the last Full Moon in Gemini, which felt more like a dark moon than anything, I've been keeping close to home, more to myself. I miss my new party friends, whom I can just hang out with openly, without being bombarded by astrology, Tarot, or dream interpretation questions, enjoying music & drinks & good food. But I'll be back. & I know I have to see my regular clients before Christmas. I'll try to schedule things for next week. The last Mercury retrograde was actually bad. I had to call off all my appointments & now for the life of me, I can't remember where I actually placed my fucking house keys. & my room's still a glorious mess. & my hair needs urgent TLC. But I'm fine. & I'm still mothering a happy smart female puppy. I have groceries to pick up in a bit, now that I'm temporarily the matriarch of my household. Ugh. I miss the beach sooo bad. But I need to take care of my home just a bit longer, so please bear with me.

Speaking of home, I'm being forced to look after my body all the more now, too. I scored a lot of pretty thingamajigs when Venus was in my sign Libra, but now that Venus is in Scorpio, I'm now on a desperate pricey move to make sure my skin clears (must end this whole blotched-face drama!) & my hair recovers. I'm exploring this whole big mall much closer to home & I daresay I'm enjoying a lot of great finds there, & I'm quite happy. I've even had my toenails repainted red, the only color (aside from black) that looks good on me & makes my feet look clean. People associate red negatively with something else, but I won't care anymore. Deal with it. It feels great to fall in love with myself & with Life all over again. October has been horrible, even early last month, when things were shaken here, no thanks to Saturn in Scorpio, but the last Venus-Saturn conjunct did prove to be magical (& sexy!) for me. I hope by the time my Venus return ends, I'll be really more of who & what I am supposed to be. I just want to lose all the weight I've gained in the last couple of years, but I'll just wait until tomorrow to get started all over again. I want more energy.

I hope all is well with you. If you have any questions about my future Tarot reading schedules within the Makati CBD, please email me at sp.lovecraft[at]gmail[dot]com anyway, so we can have things sorted out. I'd love to hear from you!

"What I Wish My Tarot Clients Knew"

This article is from The Tarot Lady's blog. Funny how I was cooking up my own take on this one, but I might as well repost this here, for you clients, both old & new, to understand how we do care about what we do & how we love our Tarot cards but how we have to overcome the hurdles of our day-to-day reading drudgery for others: 

I deeply care about you but I won’t attach myself to your issues.  Tarot readers are sensitive creatures.  We have to create strong boundaries in order to preserve our own inner peace.

I can’t remember your readings (I do a “reading dump” at the end of the day).  I can barely remember my grocery list. Trust me on that.

Last-minute appointments throw my mojo off.  My day is strictly planned and I don’t like surprises.  Sorry but you’ll have to wait.

A tarot reader practices a lot of self care – you should too.  You deserve it.

You don’t have to be unhappy.  You have every tool available (including therapy) to change your life.  Your future is always up to you.

There are no guarantees.  Don’t seek that from the cards or from me. The only person who can give you a guarantee on your life is you.

I can’t read for everyone. Nothing personal. Sometimes we just don’t gel.  Keep searching and you’ll find a reader who is a better fit for you.

Don’t waste your energy on past loves. The present is all that matters.  What will you do with now?  Start with loving yourself.

You must take action if you want your life to be awesome.  Sitting around waiting for your “luck” to change leads to a whole lotta nothing happening.

A tarot reading is rarely if ever 100% “accurate”.  If you are seeking 100% accuracy, that’s a mighty tall order.

When you call me for a “chat as a friend” and it ends up with you dumping on me and asking me to “toss a couple of cards” or give you “my vibe” on the situation, I feel very taken advantage of.  (This is why my phone is always off – I won’t allow this any longer.)

Everyone has their turn at the wheel.  Life is always in motion.  Don’t get angry if life doesn’t always go your way.  Roll with the punches.  This too shall pass.

If you walk in the door proclaiming that you “don’t believe in this stuff”, I don’t find it charming or funny.  It puts me on the defense and creates a hostile environment.  Would you like it if someone did that to you at your job?  Probably not.  If you don’t believe, I really don’t have any interest in proving a thing to you.

Likewise, if you choose to sit mute in the reading or wish to “test me” with trick questions, I hope you realize that you are making my work feel like an onerous chore.  Be friendly and don’t play games.  We’ll get along much better.

When the clock is off, my mojo is turned off.  And no, I don’t walk around “reading energy” or prying into other people’s auras.  It’s invasive. I like to mind my own karma.  (Oh, and that perplexed look on my face is not about you – I’m probably stewing over last night’s Mob Wives episode because that is where my brain goes when I am not working.)

Not all tarot readers are witches (I’m not one).  Nor are we all gypsies, psychics, con artists, women, pagans, crones, druids, or any of the other stereotypes you may have heard.  We come in every shape, size, color, gender, sexual orientation, background, belief system, etc.  

Tarot isn’t only for divination.  In fact, tarot originally started as a game – and it is still played as one to this day.  Tarot can also be used for creative prompts, conscious decision-making, self-development, a therapeutic tool and more.

When you ask the same question over and over to get the answer you want, my cards get rebellious and I get aggravated.  Don’t do it.  

Tarot is not “evil” nor the work of the devil.  In fact, it’s quite neutral and depends entirely on the intent of the reader and client.  Most readers want to help, not harm.

Bitter is not a good look on anyone.  Don’t be bitter – be better.

You do not have a curse on you.  If you believe that, you have taken your own personal responsibility out of your current circumstances.  If your life feels crappy, you can change it.  It’s always up to you.  As my mother said, “your life is how you make it”.

No ones gets spiritual by holding on.  Let go.

What feels so horrible and difficult right now will bring deep understanding later.  You’ll look back and see it differently.  BREATHE.  It gets better.

Your future belongs to you and is yours alone.  Focus on you.  Don’t worry about everyone else. Live fully. Be present.

In the end, you’ll realize that this was all just one big, joyful journey.  Love the life you have now because it will end one fine day.  And that’s the only future you can count on.

Now here's what *I* have to say about what she said, & what I personally have to say about being a Tarot reader:

1) I can actually remember most of your readings. But forgive me if I say I can't remember at the top of my head. Don't ask me out of the blue what was it that I said to you before, especially when I've had a long busy day doing readings, especially in person. Take responsibility. Jot down important dates & other details I give. But don't get disappointed if my timings don't happen right on the dot. My readings usually happen & manifest, but the timing could be off. So I recommend a 2-3 month-long timeframe in general, unless otherwise specified. & I have people who can attest that what I say here is true. I myself am shocked when people declare that what I've told them (& insistently warned them about, sadly) occurs vividly, right before their very eyes. I am happy, then, to be an Oracle like that.

2) I care about you but I've learned the hard way that I can't be really friends with my clients, even if I actually want to. People are still selfish, & they think just because they're paying clients, they can shrug me off or order me around. I actually can't take it when actual close friends barge in, demanding for a reading, without even asking me first how I am. & I'm hypersensitive like that, I know when your "how are you?" is mere lip service. Fuck that. I appreciate all my clients' generosity & I try as much as possible not to take advantage of that, & I always pay it forward by tipping people generously who provide service for me in turn, for starters, but I know when to draw the line. & please, I may come across as stronger & wiser than you, but I'm very much frail, too.

3) I can schedule you at the last minute, but do your part in relaxing yourself before having a session with me, or else suffer from delays & actual postponement. & please, I am not a morning person. Don't expect me to respond to your calls & text messages until around lunchtime. Sometimes I may actually text at odd hours (like 4am-6am) for schedule announcements because of my erratic body clock & operating hours, & I apologize profusely in advance, but I don't expect immediate replies, anyway. Better check this blog for schedule listings as it's much easier & less obtrusive.

4) Please give me my space when I say I'm out having a massage (very necessary purging bodywork for me) or on some far-flung place having a "vacation" (to clear my aura & recharge my decks). Don't demand me for answers when I will be back. I will get back to you ASAP (& again, just please check this blog for updated schedule listings).

5) Don't expect me to cheer you up everytime. I usually handle my readings with humor & lots of empathy, but know I'm just human, too, & with bad hair (& skin!) days, especially when I have my period. I usually recommend things that help make me sane & happy, but I understand what I like may not be your thing, but it doesn't hurt to take my word for it, yes? Try it, & see/feel for yourself. :)

6)  Indeed, there are NO guarantees. But in the last 10 years of my studying the cards & how they relate to our daily lives, I know the cards don't ever lie. What I strive for, then, is to become the most accurate reader/interpreter that I can be. But I'm not perfect. Nobody ever is. There are actually psychics out there who are astoundingly accurate, but I don't ever claim to be like them. My psychic powers are still budding, & I still really dread that "P" word, but I know when my hunches are correct. Sometimes I don't even need the cards to foresee something. But that's fucking tiring to do 24/7, & at the end of the day, I just wanna be a regular girl simply going out for rock gigs, urban art exhibits, food, cocktails, light conversation, boy-watching (wtf), & a bit of shopping (which I still hate, only mandatory), hehe, when I'm not at the beach.

7) I try to read for everyone, everytime, everywhere. But in my horrible experience, I CANNOT (& NEVER WILL ANYMORE) read for too strong personality types anymore. For crazy, desperate, shrieking women who actually should end up in a fucking psychiatric ward than allowed to be let loose in society. For fucking skeptics. For older men, & much older (past 50 y/o) women.  For the dull-witted, inarticulate profanum vulgus. For the stingy / matapobre / cheapskates. For blah corporate events. Not to be an elitist bitch, but my Mercury in Virgo in the cusp of my 7th-8th Houses has barely any patience left anymore. I love reading for precocious youngsters, from 7-18 y/o, though. With supervision & permission from their parents, of course. They make awesome company, & even if I don't wish to have my own kids ever, they make me think twice about that idea.

8) I personally have my pathetic inability to move on from the past, especially from people who've hurt me, but I'm trying my best. I still get wistful from time to time, but this Venus retrograde (which should last until around the end of June) is helping me purge everyone fucking toxic from my consciousness for once & for all. Take advantage of this time as well to do your own exorcism of your own demons/psychic vampires.

9) I share with you what I personally enjoy/indulge in/struggle to do, to let you know how even I have to manage Life by my own. I'm human, too, & I may have actually suffered way more than you. Your problems may not be as gruesome as mine, trust me. So be happy now. Be more determined to crawl out of your rut now, whatever it takes, the same way I always nearly die clawing out of mine.

10) Again, Tarot cards never lie, but don't ever expect 100% accuracy every single time. My "batting average" is at 90-95%, but don't ever bug me to give you updates on when will your fucking desires manifest as foretold. Be patient, I can only tell you that they will happen, but I can't magically pull them out like a rabbit out of a hat. For the nth time, like I always say, if that's what you're expecting me to do for you, then go find your own fucking freak show.

11) Just this month, it has disheartened me deeply that people I've become close with just barge in with offhanded demands to have me read their cards & tell them what the fuck is in store for them this year, without even asking me first how I'm holding up & if I'm actually in the fucking mood to read Tarot at that time. Punyeta. I'm not like that at all. I ask politely, or whine with warning, if ever I do need help from anyone. The only person I can ever bug (sometimes thoughtlessly) is my Virgo brother, whom I love to bits, but he's family, anyway. Though I really appreciate my Cancerian best friend who knows exactly what I'm going through & what to say to me, especially when I so least expect it, because she knows me very well, even without my ever prompting her.

12) & NO WAY WILL I EVER READ FOR FUCKING SKEPTICS ANYMORE. I RESERVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO WALK OUT OF YOU BITCHES SHOULD YOU DECLARE THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS SHIT. I CAN PROVE SKEPTICS WRONG MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, TO THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING THEM ACQUIRE THEIR OWN CARDS & STUDY THE DAMNED SUBJECT, BUT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS SHIT & WON'T EVER TRUST ME TO SHOW YOU THE WONDERS I'VE PERSONALLY SEEN TAROT CAN OFFER, THEN DON'T WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME. I FUCKING HAVE NO TIME NOR ENERGY ANYMORE FOR YOUR SHIT, EITHER.

13) I may just wander about like the regular girl I'm always assuming myself to be at the end of the day, but yeah, I may pick up other people's energy just like that & babble about astrological trends as if we were just talking about the weather & other trifles, but please, don't expect me to do that everytime. I try to detach & "unplug" as much as I can. Even if I may be really fond of you, but if I'm not in the mood for that, please don't force me to comply.

14) & yeah, I may be younger, more outgoing, more liberal, more profane, more colorful, more upbeat, & more outlandish than your average reader, but that doesn't mean I'm any less "authentic." I collect decks seriously & I can use all of them VERY proficiently whenever the mood arises, & I don't need to adhere to fucking stereotypes to let people know I'm a passionate, intricate, devoted Tarotist. You don't need to see me go actually goth to prove it. I have enough Scorpio/Plutonian influence to depict my "darkness" (Sun & Pluto in Libra in the 8th House, Pluto trine Ascendant, Venus {semisextile Pluto} + Mars {sextile Saturn} in Scorpio in the 9th House). Fuck off.

15)  Again, my take on Tarot is that it's art & mysticism in motion. Everything I've always been interested in (art, religion, spirituality, philosophy, psychology, subculture) is all quirkily encompassed in a box of cards. It's always a good icebreaker along like-minded folk, & an amazing tool for creative brainstorming for more left-brained, stodgy types. & again, my approach/style is lighthearted & humorous & pragmatic. You can blame my Cancer Moon in my 5th House in Gemini, & my Jupiter in Leo in my 6th House, & all my happy Sun-Mercury/Midheaven/Jupiter aspects for that.

16) I've learned the hard way to pay attention to my cards when they show me scary images, & to not insist on my desired answer, & I only beg of them to show me the truth, & ways for me to accept that truth. Again, what I've learned from them is that, if they show me something good, I find ways to make that manifest, & if not, I find ways to avoid whatever's undesirable coming my way.

17) No, I don't offer past-life regression or hypnosis. I'm still working on reselling Tarot decks locally. I work with Western-style feng shui (leading to chakra balancing via colors & crystals) & astrology, & I hope to learn Reiki soon. I also work with candles (I collect them, too, LOL; the more scented, the better!) to tap into my weaker inner Fire & Earth energy (I'm more Air & Water, & I need more structure & stability & drive now).

18) Read my existentialism repost again, please, that came before this one, & realize the importance of living your life in the present tense. Take charge of your life. Tarot readings can help, but only up to a point. Get going. Know that tempus fugit, YOLO, hehe. To quote this Rage Against The Machine song, "What better place than here? What better time than now?

19) I'm working on the really prompt delivery of my emailed readings. Please bear with me if it takes more than 7 days to do so, especially if your questions are that complex. & no, I will not rip you off, satisfaction guaranteed.

20) Please email me for inquiries & appointments at sp.lovecraft [at] gmail [dot] com, & please note that I won't be available for face-to-face readings from June 3-9. Please also be friendlier & don't just interact with me on my Facebook page for quick complimentary readings. & if you have time, please read through my older posts for other interesting snippets you might come across that could help you with your respective dilemma. :)

To quote again The Tarot Lady, "What do you want to know about tarot or tarot readers?  Or what do you wish people knew about tarot?  Post your comments and questions in the comment section below." Have a happy weekend. ♥

time to wake up

Scary music video of teh nao:




Warning: NSFW. Soul-harrowing. But hopefully enlightening just the same.

I actually get a kick out of this song, but this video shuts me up. "The world is a vampire set to drain," indeed, but with what I do, & with the more aware people I talk to, I still know & believe that there's hope for us all. Despite repeated heartbreak & disappointment. Despite hunger, poverty, torture, debauchery. Despite death.

 "Despite of my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage," but at least I know better now than I did many years before. & let me share with you this article by Alex Green (found this piece in my email & I thought it was spam, but oh, joy!) that validates everything I'm struggling for, especially whenever I'd be in a crisis & I've got no one else to turn to:

Who, exactly, are the existentialists and what do they know? Existentialism is a philosophical movement that came about in the late 19th century. It is not some abstract set of theoretical truths. Rather it is a no-nonsense philosophy that encourages you to take a hard look at your life and ask two essential questions: Who am I and how shall I live?

Its goal is to awaken us from our slumber, have us grab life by the lapels and start living authentically. Unfortunately, there is no particular school that offers a systematic account of existentialism. Its founders were fierce individualists who avoided labels, detested "isms," and refused to be lumped into any group.

So there is no grand philosophical system here. Essentially, existentialism exists at the intersection of the essays of Friedrich Nietzsche and Jean-Paul Sartre, the novels of Albert Camus and Fyodor Dostoevsky, the religious writings of Soren Kierkegaard and Paul Tillich, and the plays of Harold Pinter and even William Shakespeare (particularly Hamlet and King Lear). Clearly, existentialism is older than the term itself. The philosophy is based on six general themes:

1. Acceptance of the Absurd. Each of us drops unexpectedly into this world, in a universe where time – at least as we know it – has no beginning, space no end, and life no pre-set meaning. It is an inexplicable mystery. This realization is hardly new, of course. Ecclesiastes kicks off with the words "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. What does man gain from all his labor and toil here under the sun?" (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3). Existentialists believe that it's only when you confront the fundamental absurdity of life that you begin to live honestly.

2. Personal Freedom. Life itself may be meaningless, but you give it meaning when you begin making important choices. These, in turn, reveal who you are. With freedom of choice, however, comes responsibility. Taking ownership of your decisions means not blaming your parents, your spouse, your teachers, or anyone else for the shape of your life. More responsibility brings greater freedom. And with it: hope.

3. Individualism. Existentialists are keenly aware that society continually pulls us toward conformity. There are immense social pressures to go along, get along, and live pretty much like everyone else. Existentialists challenge you to buck conventional wisdom, express your true nature, and follow your dream, whatever that may be.

4. Authenticity. Most people are so consumed by desire, guilt, fear, or anxiety about what other people think that they find it almost impossible to follow their true calling. However, it's only when you begin to do what you want – and not what others expect – that you begin to live authentically. But expect resistance. Institutions want to mold you. Other people want you to go on their trip. It's far easier to live unthinkingly as part of the crowd. Yet authentic individuals are in control of their own lives.

5. Passion. Being passionate and engaged is crucial. This doesn't mean acting crazy or hysterical. Quite the opposite, in fact. Existentialists believe you should devote yourself to a cause, one that you're willing to organize your life around, perhaps even die for. For Kierkegaard, that passion was the pursuit of truth. For others, it may be artistic expression, healing the sick, or building a business that employs hundreds and serves thousands. In all walks of life, you'll find that passionate men and women are more purposeful.

6. Acceptance of Death. Life is finite. Yet existentialists don't see this as a reason for pessimism. Facing death is what forces you to take life seriously, use your time wisely, and make meaningful choices. It should invigorate your life. As the character Andy puts it in The Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living or get busy dying."

Nietzsche, the philosopher most closely associated with existentialism, refers to it as the noble ideal. Your life, he argues, is an unwritten book that only you can write. Or, he says, visualize your life as a kind of artistic project, except that you are both the sculptor and the clay. This concept runs throughout existentialist works.

Martin Heidegger counsels us to learn to "dwell poetically." Kierkegaard says, "to exist is an art." All existentialists agree that life has the meaning you choose to give it. Sartre even declared that man is "nothing else but what he makes of himself." This view is fairly widespread in the West today. But it was once considered revolutionary.

No matter how things stand in your life, you choose how to interpret your situation. You choose how to respond to it. Even if you do nothing, you still have made a choice. There is no escaping the consequences of your actions – or your inaction. This makes some people profoundly uncomfortable, of course. They don't like facing up to the world as it is. They don't want responsibility. It's easier to blame others, circumstances, or "the breaks."

Existentialism, however, is known as "the no-excuses philosophy." You may be old. You may be broke. You may be sick. But existentialists say you start from where you are and move forward.

How? By accepting responsibility and making choices.

This isn't always easy. Pursuing authenticity requires relentless self-examination. It exposes you to things about yourself that you may not want to know. It may cause discomfort or friction with others. But inauthentic lives, by comparison, are shallow, trivial, and unsatisfying. They are often marked by the dogged pursuit of material goods, social status, or the approval of others.

In many ways existentialism is a return to the roots of philosophy, a return to the ancients' concern with truth, virtue, and the art of living well. Existentialism offers a guide to the perplexed. It shows us not just how to live, but how to flourish, how to create meaning in a senseless world. Those who reject this philosophy often do so not because they don't understand it but because they can't face it. And that's unfortunate.

Existentialism provides a practical way of thinking about the world. It offers personal freedom and empowerment. It is a path to dignity and nobility. An existentialist doesn't live as though he has forever, frittering away his time and putting off until "someday" the things he really wants to do. He or she recognizes that each day, each moment, is precious and irreplaceable.

Are you an existentialist? Only you can say, of course. But perhaps you should be. Carpe diem.

I think I've wasted enough time already to realize what I'm missing. I should be in hot pursuit of what I really want now, especially that the rainy season's catching up with what I wanna do. I want to explore water sports all the more, for starters. I wasn't able to enjoy diving & snorkeling much 5 years ago during my Solar return. Maybe tomorrow will help. I want to be physically strong again for the things I used to do & love, like biking, yoga,  iceskating/rollerblading. I want to be spending my money on things that make myself & my environment look inspiring, instead on stupid hospital bills & drugs. I know I can do it. I just lost track of what I'm supposed to be doing, thinking my soul could use a break from it. I was wrong.

 Never ever lose your individuality & purpose in life, no matter what happens, no matter how distracting other things & people are. Let all those other things & people complement & enrich you,  instead of merely sidetracking you from your goals. Ask yourself what you are here for & why do you need to fulfill that raison d' etre. I know what I'm here for. 

"so if you really love me, come on & let it show."

I feel like a huge mess lately. Blame it on Saturn retrograde in my 1st House, maybe, or Uranus in my 7th, or Mars in my natal 8th & solar 12th (horrors). But I resolve to be a much better person & just focus on my tasks at hand. & never again will I have to spend a cent on hospital fees. Fuck that. & I'll just re-read this classic book that never ceases to amaze me. 

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, & you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." 

I'm actually walking on eggshells now. Whenever I'm upset in love, I get VERY inconsolable. I try my best to see the best in the situation everytime & I've already given it much thought & deliberation. I know there's still so much more I've yet to re-learn about love, & for that, I pray for my sanity. 

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love & must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt & be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
& to bleed willingly & joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
& give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour & meditate love's ecstasy;            

To return home at eventide with gratitude;             
& then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart  

& a song of praise upon your lips."

 Honestly, I don't even know whether or not what I'm feeling now is really love. There's still a part of me that's freaked out with trusting a person wholeheartedly with my life, especially knowing that this person is also treading carefully in this path, showing he's still not really sure of me, either. I don't know what to do anymore except have more faith in myself, in him, & in the signs presented to me by the Universe since my breakup, especially during my last Tarot workshop in October as well as our quick reading swap during The Collective Art Fair last February. I could be just deluding myself, but getting the 10 of Cups, the King of Pentacles, & the Ace of Wands today to signify where this is all headed is a relief. I just don't want to get ahead of myself, & I could just be dreading the next Venus retrograde commencing in a few days. & I'd rather get the real score from the person in question.  

I don't even know the point of this post. I think I'm just bothered with how I'm spending the rest of my time on a day-to-day basis. I still have so much work to do, & I'm on it. I just hope I see results soon. Not to be conditional, but, as much as I would love to express my feelings unabashedly no matter what, I feel like I deserve so much more now, especially with what I've gone through. 

I'll be trying to clear my head today with my brother instead. He's still the most important guy in my life, after all, especially now with my dad gone, even if I don't feel so much like being a responsible big sister now.