"I don't have to sell my soul... He's already in me."

"Anti-Lamentation" 

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.

Not the nights you called God names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

- Dorianne Laux

Can't thank Lea Rose enough for this poem. Perfect for this gloomy week.

I just want to feel better, like the rest of you.

thoughts from last night's last-minute reading

10 Suggestions for Raising Your Magnetic Resonance to Stay Aligned with Your Soul and Spirit in 2012 and Beyond:

1. Focus on your heart. The energy of your heart is 5,000 times more powerful than that of your other organs, including your brain. A strong awareness of your heart, of giving, of charity, of compassion, of empathy, will raise your magnetic resonance and guide you to the right people and places to be safe in 2012 and beyond.
2. Meditate. Focus on your spiritual eye in the center of your forehead, become aware of your breathing and inwardly chant Om. This activity will align you with your soul and Spirit and raise your personal magnetic resonance so all of your needs are fulfilled.
3. Think positive thoughts. Positive thinking raises your magnetic resonance and attracts you to – and to you – the positive outcome to which you devote your energy.
4. Visualize what you want to create – and you will electromagnetically attract the object of your visualization.
5. Pray. Your prayers for yourself and others raise your magnetic resonance and increase the magnetic field of the person you are praying for – and the planet as a whole.
6. Affirm. Affirm in your mind repeatedly throughout the day the positive reality you envision for yourself and others.
7. Give as much as you can. Charity opens the way for more abundance to come to you.
8. Practice gratitude. Gratitude opens the way for more of the quality you are thankful for to come to you.
9. Raise your magnetic resonance through physical methods – get plenty of sunshine, clean water, fresh fruits and vegetables, and feel the beneficial effects of negative ions (positive energy) from moving water, rivers, oceans, waterfalls, or even rain – God’s way of cleaning the earth to bring positive energy.
10. Simplify. Lower your expectations, especially the unrealistic ones. Focus on what is important. Let go of the rest.

Know that everything will be okay. No matter what happens, nothing will happen that you can’t handle, and nothing that isn’t supposed to come into your life can come if you live in alignment with your soul and Spirit. 

Please note this list isn't mine, but it sure did confirm a whole lot of things I've babbled about last night to a new fun Aquarian client, & what I've been babbling about the whole time to other people, even before the whole The Secret hoopla.

& yes, finally, I'm back. I'm sorry to be gone for so long. But a whole lot of things happened to me again (only this time much, much crazier) & it was fun, actually, sure, while I was partially taking a break, especially during my 10th Tarot anniversary. Happy Tarot Decade to me. Ugh.

What gets to me the most, though, is how things are becoming more exciting for me & my brother & my best friend + bodyguard, haha, especially spirituality-wise. Today marks the onset of my & my brother's Mars return (yes, in Scorpio), & my best friend's currently enjoying her Venus return (in Cancer). We hope that starting this coming weekend, especially just in time for my brother's actual Solar return this season (our respective birthdays happen next month), we could all just bond further via music & good food & esoterica, hehe. I can't believe my brother's finally becoming more of his Pisces Rising self. I think it's good, but I need to look after him more sharply, especially with Neptune possibly obscuring things for him. We already just both confirmed my role in his life, & today's discussion has been the best talk we've had in years. ♥ I love it. I love my brother very much. & I'm glad he finally understands all my intentions for the both of us + the world. I really hope that in the next 14 years or so, he'll express his full potential & carry on with his own grand mission. He's so much to share in this world, & I'm personally very proud of him. Creepy how today's talk is influenced with the Moon in the same sign, for now. & how I've been spending a whole lot of time with Aquarian Suns & Moons; as well as Piscean Suns, Moons, & Risings. WHAT THE. No thanks again to my Aquarius Rising & Cancer Moon & Scorpio Venus + Mars. 

After all my personal pain (part of all that excitement I had to go through in the last couple of months... actually, no, ever since this damned year started), I'm now ready to begin anew. I'm very thankful of all the other people in my life this year, & all them new experiences & acquisitions, & I feel very blessed, as always, even if I still know I can do so much better. Saturn in Libra's influence's damn exhausting, but thank God for Jupiter in Gemini making things much much easier to bear these days. I still pray for everybody else suffering & mourning in this world, especially with the recent tragedies my country had to face this quarter. Proceeds of my readings still go to charity, & I hope to finally haul out a lot of other things from this house that could find better use elsewhere this weekend. I'm finally letting go, & letting my inner Venus out (in Scorpio; who's been trying so desperately to come out ever since Venus was in Gemini, only to be slightly blighted by Mars in my sign Libra these past few days). Fine. SIGH.

Speaking of readings, I will be available for another Tarot readathon along the Makati CBD on Monday, 1pm-4pm. Please leave a comment in this post for an appointment with your preferred contact details & birthdays if you're interested, & please confirm at least a day before your schedule. Please also RELAX before seeing me, like I always say, & keep an open mind.

Now for those interested with my Tarot workshops, please note that my rates have changed, & I'll have to screen my new students-to-be before my next class starts. There are limited slots (only up to 10 per run), please take note. If all goes well, I could have it right within the Blue Moon weekend at the end of this month, or on September 1st (yay, my Mercury return starts by then!) Again, leave a comment in this post with your preferred contact details (& birthdays, please!) if you wish to proceed.

I'll update more later. I have to run & do more readings in person today, & I'll have to finish early to give myself more time to recharge. All these late nights + alcohol lately are taking their toll now, so I'm detoxing as much as I can. Time to focus on home improvement, yoga (yeah, I know, can't believe my last class was in 2008), more writing, & more divination, too. Just in time for the Sun in Virgo. Le sigh. Thank you so much, Scorpio Mars, for the boost. Don't forget to Like my humble Page for free quick online Tarot readings once I get 400 followers before the end of the month, as well as a free 2013 astrological guidebook duo to give away, along with a whole buncha fun stuff to raffle off! Toodles! :* 

love = sick

I'm sorry for being gone again for so long, but I've already updated my calendar for October so people can schedule face-to-face readings with me more easily. I'm so tired. Forgive me. I really haven't recovered yet from last month's craziness, & I'm truly sorry for my last post. But I mean well. I always do. I just want everybody else to be responsible for their own feelings & lives, the same way I'm desperately trying to take care of myself. To my ardent patrons, you know me, I go the extra mile whenever I can for you fine folks. But the curse of being too accommodating is just too much to bear sometimes. & I really care about you. Tough love, baby. & please don't wait for me to tell you that straight to your face.

Though it truly made my week when a prospective Leo client texted me about how he loves my blog for being witty & upfront. Honesty, he says, is "a trait that is slowly dying in this digital age." & thank heavens despite my profanity he doesn't see it as crass, hehe. Thank you, Y. (& I'm so sorry, but your strong Venus in Cancer is what I've been picking up for all this time! :P)

I want everybody I come in close contact with to be happy. Now please remember that happiness is a state of mind, & it's always fleeting. The only way to really make the most out of a happy moment is truly revel in it while it lasts. Well, taking pictures & videos can help. But memories are the best things to come out from it. Cherish those, & always count your blessings. Things can — & will — be anticlimactic more often than not, but that shouldn't put a stop to you feeling happy every single blasted chance you'd get.

In our pursuit of happiness, though, we tend to lose ourselves in the process. The more we feel it's elusive, the more stressful it can be for us to handle things. Take my own struggles with gardening & adjusting to new health + fitness schedules, for instance. Then there were these premier events I had to go to, to show my support to some of my most awesome clients, & I still need to recover from the hubbub. My auld lang syne friends are MIA when I need the most, & I feel more alone than ever. Worse, my lovelife (say what? LOL) is going nowhere fast. But whatever. I'll just share this article that brightened up my day:

"Here are three tools I use on a daily basis to keep getting to know myself amidst (& sometimes because of) my challenges:"

1. Do one small thing to make today better than yesterday.

Allow yourself to settle into the idea of small little shifts that add up to a more peaceful, centered you. Say a prayer for someone you know who is hurting. Put yourself to bed early. Pack yourself a healthy lunch.

[It's always amazing] at how one little thing can have such a drastic impact on our mood. You reclaim a piece of your day, even if it's just a small one.

2. Begin to embrace your own brand of happy. Don’t ask it to look exactly like "everyone else’s."

Be open to the hobbies, places, & people who make you jazzed about your future, regardless of what others may think about them. You were given specific skills in order to shine. Cultivate them in small & big ways.

If your current friends aren’t interested in your new passions, ask the Universe to guide you to others who might be.

3. You’re holding the remote; go ahead and press the pause button when needed.

Make an effort to turn inward & reset your frequency if you feel like things are getting funky. Whether you take a two-minute walk outside, meditate before you go to bed at night, or simply pause in the doorway before you zoom into “go, go, go” mode, you create a split-second opportunity to be present & show up for a day full of possibility and miracles.

I'm still counting my blessings, & I'm just praying this maddening lull will ease out soon. If you're feeling like the Universe is grating you like a citrus fruit for your zest, leave a comment & let's talk about it, haha.

Anyway, since it's my 6th blogging anniversary this weekend (technically, October 13th), I'll be throwing in a few surprises on my Facebook page (please Like the damn thing, haha) & you can try my quick readings that I'll be offering only until the end of my Venus return next month:

Yes! Get US$5 off if you ask me 2 or 3 questions via email! Please give me until Monday (just in case) if you're availing of this today to fully respond to your questions, just so I can get my personal stuff that I've planned beforehand out of the way. I usually respond right away, shortly after the receipt of your questions, so don't worry. If you still want to meet me for a face-to-face reading, well, you know the drill. ;)

Text me beforehand should you want to be scheduled for Friday, October 21st, 3pm-5pm: (+63) 0920-433-5420. Please note that I might be in the middle of a reading session so if you call, I might not be able to pick up immediately. Text me FIRST before calling. I'm adamantly sticking to my schedules but I want to accommodate everyone as much as I can this month. Meaning, I'd rather read on these particular days at MY preferred places so, please, I beg of you. (House calls will have extra charge, up to double my standard rate, depending on location & weather conditions. For now, I can only accommodate requests within the Makati CBD. For more information how I do my readings, please read the updated 2nd FAQ.)

Email readings are just as good as face-to-face readings, & they are very detailed & personalized. No, I don't go pasting generic meanings of the cards I've drawn. I relay them exactly to your situation, & say things as you need to read/hear/know them. They're also convenient if you want concise answers, & when you're on the go. If you've read my first FAQ listing, you'll get further ideas on what to expect when availing such a service from me. Satisfaction guaranteed, no matter how cliché that sounds, hehe.

Thanks for reading, & happy weekend. Stay tuned for updates! :D

& so the last few days of Venus in Cancer = rain

Hello again, world. I'm super sorry (again) for not updating as much. I'm ridiculously busy & distracted lately, as usual, & it's really not easy getting blogging done while I'm up & about. I'll just wait until my birthday to be liveblogging in full force, which is 2 months from now. Haha. I'll post my birthday wishlist tomorrow (no kidding) which includes silly items that have nothing to do whatsoever with Tarot-reading. For now, even if it's a rainy morning today, I'll have readings in the afternoon until early evening. I might be available at 5pm & 7pm later, unless my querents extend their time. Here's the rest of my tentative schedule, & these will be my only available times as of the moment. If you can, kindly comply, should you find yourself interested in a reading session with me anytime soon. & let's make it snappy, especially once Mercury goes officially retrograde next week.

Text me beforehand should you want to be scheduled for Thursday onwards: (+63) 0920-433-5420. Please note that I might be in the middle of a reading session so if you call, I might not be able to pick up immediately. Text me FIRST before calling. I'm adamantly sticking to my schedules but I want to accommodate everyone as much as I can this month. Meaning, I'd rather read on these particular days at my preferred places so, please, have mercy. (House calls will have extra charge, up to double my standard rate, depending on location & weather conditions. For now, I can only accommodate requests within the Makati CBD. For more information on how I do my readings, please read the updated 2nd FAQ.)

So what have I been up to, anyway? I've been trying to stay in shape (to no avail, I think, haha; especially with all this newfound fascination for dark mocha frappuccinos, this time with soy milk for an added depth in flavor, red velvet cake, & milk chocolate cheesecake). I'm also trying to mentor a couple of young 'uns who own Gilded Tarot decks (one's Sagittarian with a Pisces Moon & a Libra Rising, while the other's quadruple Cancerian - Sun, Moon, Rising, & Jupiter). It's just funny how I'm being haunted by that Gilded deck since 2008, even if I really feel I can't connect with it just yet, but I can't seem to forget its icky Lovers card, haha. Plus, it's funny how I'm surrounded by all these Water babies. Maybe because my Moon in Cancer trines my Venus in Scorpio, to begin with. I'm still freaked out by the thought of it all, really. I need to be with more Fire + Air signs, though, seriously.

Then decluttering my perpetually-ravaged room is an everyday struggle. I also got a new Tarot deck from a client & it's a bitch to use for myself, but it works flawlessly for her. Even my Tarot of Vampyres is wonderful for her! Anyway, I have to thank her for her trust & patronage. I also pray everything works out for her very soon. ♥

Anyway, let this be a nifty guide for you folks for having a pleasant, insightful, & worthwhile Tarot reading session, thanks to a new Twitter pal who just passed her first Reiki attunement. Yay, congratulations! I hope I can do the same thing very soon!

How to get the most out of your tarot reading: 6 tips to maximize your experience.

1. Do some research on your reader. This can be done by asking them about their code of ethics, what they’re comfortable doing, or how they feel about different situations in dealing with clients. Fortunately, a lot of readers have websites where you can see not only their code of ethics and some sample readings, but also feedback. Feedback can be very important to a reader and they usually have no problem sharing positive feedback with potential clients, paid or not.

2. Come with an open mind. If you go into the reading with ultimatums and expecting a specific outcome, you’ll probably be disappointed. Most readers are under the impression you seek them out for their interpretations of the cards, and if you insist they’re doing things incorrectly, you’ll both end up frustrated.

3. Ask a good question. The future of your life is based on you and you alone. If you ask a question that negates your own power in your life, you are less likely to get a truly helpful answer. For example, asking “when will I find a new lover?” asks literally when the querent will find a specific person. But what if the querent never leaves their home and expects the lover to find them? What if the querent has a very specific set of standards and expects the new lover to fit into them, and doesn’t consider anyone else? They may never find the lover they seek. Try phrasing your questions in a way that shows you accept your power or responsibility in your own life. For example, “what do I need to know about finding a new boyfriend/girlfriend?”, “what can I do to help find a new lover soon?”, or even “am I doing the work I need to be doing to find the new squeeze I’ve been hoping for?” are excellent alternatives to the original question.

4. Don’t offer anything yet the reader doesn’t ask for. Some readers may ask for a bit of background information, some prefer to only know the question, while others ask questions as they share the reading. The best thing to do is recognize that the reader is experienced enough to know when to ask for information. For example, if the reader says, “Have you been stressed out about your relationship?” it’s better to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ then to launch into a full explanation of why the relationship has been weighing heavy on your heart. Wait until the end of the reading to explain what’s going on. This helps you to get the big picture, and for the reader to fully relay everything in the cards.

5. Keep in mind how often you ask a specific question. Repeating a question because you want to see what different readers say, or because you may be fishing for a specific answer, is more likely to confuse you and blur all the answers together than it is to actually help you. If someone gives you a really off reading, that’s one thing. But asking the same or similar questions multiple times indicates that you aren’t paying attention to the answers you’ve been given in the past. Sometimes readings will be complete duds because people already know the answer to their question, but they don’t want to admit they do, or they are hoping the answer will change.

6. Take notes as you go along, or save the reading for later. There are usually things relayed in a reading that don’t make sense right away. If anything seems like it doesn’t fit, make a note of it and look into it when the reading is finished. Often times you can look back on a reading and see exactly how things made sense - but only if you have a decent record of the reading ;)

Have fun, & stay warm as well as dry today!