Wednesday, February 27, 2008

on forecasting (when all you really can do is just pretty much expect the unexpected)

Lately I’ve been flooded with very pleased feedback from my patrons, & I can’t thank them adoring fans enough! :P Seriously, I myself am surprised everytime when people tell me how relevant my findings are, & I really can’t take all the credit. Sometimes it’s just blurting out the first thing I “see” on & “feel” about the cards, & I’m glad when people discover for themselves along the way what the cards are trying to tell them, even when they wouldn’t believe anything at first. That’s OK, I myself can hardly believe what I’m picking up through the images during sessions.

What I’ve noticed, though, after all this time, I hardly make a miss on ”predicting” pregnancies, to the point of pointing out a baby’s gender & initial state of health when it’s born. I was able to sense my first ever nephew, & one of my friend’s first ever niece, & I tried warning a former coworker about her delicate womb with just one card, but she thought it was her kidney problem that was being described, until we all found out that she had to leave us all a few days after, as conceiving her first ever son was very critical. There are other instances, of course, like my high school buddy Ohwen excitedly telling me that his wife was 18 weeks pregnant right after my reading for him, but I don’t remember telling him it was going to be a girl (I “saw” that he was going to have 2 sons, though, after that). Probably it’d be safe to say that my other coworker’s quite expecting now, too, just when I told her that once she gets pregnant, she should take extra care of herself, especially when work gets highly stressful again (pretty much like what’s happening now, wherein we’re all gasping for air & racking our brains as we’re strapped to our desks, yikes!) & she’s worrying about a million other things at the same time. Yeah, we’re all hoping it’s going to be a girl this time, & we’re excited! ♥ I hope all will be well for her. (EDIT: So far, it did turn out to be a girl, & her name's Amber, & she's Libra just like me!)

Funny, the closest to foreseeing what my future child would be like was only through a dream… that she would have curly red hair (WTF?) & chinky eyes (like mine) & an impish streak & a precocious mind for her age (I’m guessing she was already 3 years old when I saw her yakking to guests & pestering her would-be dad at some lavish garden party while everytime she’d come up to me, all I would say to her was, “Go to your daddy muna, ok, hija?” but I couldn’t remember for the life of me what the heck I was doing back then. What the hell. That dream would recur for a few more times, then it was gone. I think we called the girl Lisa, or Elise, since that was her second name, anyway, but it could also be Cerise because of her red hair, & I like that name, too, seriously. She now reminds me of The Bride’s daughter in the movie Kill Bill: Volume 2. Yay.

But funny how I’ve always written about having a son named Joshua when I was younger, who would be a violinist with a chemical engineering degree like his would-be grandfather (my dad, who else?) & I really wouldn’t want to have kids EVER to begin with.

So, there. I’m not All-Knowing, though, & I didn’t expect a couple of my best friends to be heavy with child until at the last minute. & if there’s one thing I’d like to be spared of while I’m reading, it’s the thought of sex & conception, please. HAHA. I’m sorry, but yours truly is still a prude that way.

While I may be keen with births & motherhood, I’m not as on-the-dot with deaths, as I’d usually find out about what the cards would be telling me about those when it’s all too late to do anything about those, so everytime I’d see warning signs of accidents or the like at bay, I get adamant with my precautions. Sometimes I’d be a big idiot & misinterpret looming reminders, so… sigh. & when I sense people from the dead are trying to make themselves heard despite their demise, I just have to spill the beans about it. It isn’t everyday I get vibes like that, & no, I can’t see dead people even if I want to, but sometimes I can feel when uh, there’s this unmistakable presence or energy around. I don’t know, I must be going crazy, but that’s just how it is. But what’s crazier is when somebody validates my ESP regarding that issue. Too bad I’m no medium or clairvoyant, though, so I really wouldn’t know.

I actually find more peace in cemeteries than in other public places. I actually fear more being with the living than being with the dead. Who cares about zombies & vampires striking in the middle of the night when we have all sorts of those walking among us in broad daylight? But there was this one time when we were passing a long array of funeral homes on our way to a diving site last year, & I could feel Death all over the place. Boy, THAT trip was creepy, I tell you. I swear, NEVER AGAIN. I should’ve purged myself completely of the looming death when I could’ve, but it was too late. The next thing I knew, on our way home, I was already bleeding to death & what ensued after turned out to be one of the worst moments of my life.

I wish I could be better in divining my own future. I find it despicably hard at times to picture myself in a few months. I may follow my gut instincts a lot, but there are times when I’d rather not think nor feel deeply, especially with the way I’d drive myself crazy from overanalyzing things that bother me at the moment. With nobody sensible around to talk to most of the time, I’d end up sulking alone, or distracting myself with whatever I’d deem to be mentally-stimulating & liberating to the point of haphazard. I really can’t pinpoint certain things for other people, either, during readings. When I know something’s wrong & I “see” a lot of turbulent images in my mind but it’s hard to say what those are, I have to stop & take a step back. Other people may find it nonsensical to rely on foresight this way, but I don’t care. This is how I am, & I’ve proven that my so-called ‘paranoia’ & ‘anxiety attacks’ even before I became 16 actually has a basis after all. I miss my kid sister all of a sudden. :(

To spook everyone out further with my drastic mood swings, I’m getting a kick out of remixes of Garbage songs like Stupid Girl (by Todd Terry) & It’s All Over But The Crying. I wish it was just as easy to rehash the past & enjoy the wonderful revision as a result. :(

Monday, February 25, 2008

easier said than done, I know

Funny, I was about to make a post about positivity & patience, but this poem beat me to it, hehe. Found this in my e-mail inbox, so I might as well share this instead. Even if I find myself eating more meat than the usual (I’m blaming it on crazy hormones; drat PMS) & I’m spending my 2nd Holy Week at work, true enough, I’m toting on the color purple more often & introspecting as much as I can, especially in relation to my issues about work…
Lent should be more than a time for fasting. It should be a joyous feasting.

Lent is a time to fast from certain things and to feast on others.
It is a season when we should:

Fast from judging others; feast on Christ indwelling them.
Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of all life.
Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.
Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.
Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.
Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.
Fast from negative; feast on affirmatives.
Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.
Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.
Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.
Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.
Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal truth.
Fast from facts that depress; feast on verities that uplifts.
Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.
Fast from suspicion; feast on truth.
Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.
Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.
Fast from idle gossips; feast on purposeful silence.
Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that under grids.

May we truly find peace amidst the craziness of our modern, perpetually plagued Life. Excuse me, though, as I go get more sleep.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

on the power of intention (or maybe I’m just deluding myself)

Sometimes I wonder if I’m really meant to be a fortune-teller / life coach / geomancer / public relations specialist when I still want to take pictures, learn the art of serving tea & arranging flowers, make oil paintings, make sushi + sandwiches + pasta + dessert at the very least, write self-help books & poetry, visit Chinese/Japanese temples, learn kendo + tai chi + yoga by heart & teach them in turn, save the world: one panda at a time, get a degree in psychiatry, do my own gift-wrapping, learn more than 4 languages, design gowns, become an extreme sports buff, tote guns, & be a really effective financial analyst LOL. Maybe I could just own a crafts & hobbies store at the end of the day, with all my interests thrown in, & I can opt to stay open for 24 hours or so, with all the fun geeky stuff my space has to offer. I guess I’ll never outgrow my being scatterbrained. I wonder why I’m so bent to express all of that. I wonder who & what I was in my past life. From the looks of this post, it seems that I might have lived more than once, but maybe humans can really be multi-faceted & complex. If I win a million dollars tomorrow, I swear to God I won’t waste time pursuing all of my whims!

On an unrelated note, I’m beginning to regret that I had to install IE7.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

let's get (meta)physical!

Since the first Mercury retrograde this year is finally over, & we’ve had fun last Lunar New Year, & we’re expecting a new leap year in a few days, I can finally update this blog as I please. I’ve managed to finish 2 e-mailed readings in one go (after much delay, though, yikes!) & handle a phoned-in request quite well so I’m extremely happy of my progress. I’m afraid this will be the last time I’m doing freebies (unless I offered you a free session because you were kind enough to pay me first & then refer me to a good friend of yours or so ♥).

Anyway, I have decided to come up with a few ground “rules” for up-close-&-personal appointments for everybody’s comfort & benefit (especially my own peace of mind) as we all want quality readings, don’t we?
1). I cannot tolerate al fresco settings anymore, especially when I do readings around brunch/lunchtime. Unless we’re meeting up in a really cozy area, we’ll have to make do with airconditioning & lounge tunes, hehe. Especially in this godforsaken heat which we have no choice but to lovingly call perpetual tropical summer weather. If you’re stricken with a chronic smoking problem, you will have to enjoy your cigarette before &/or after our session. I have enough breathing & concentration problems as it is, so please, have mercy.

2). Please enclose your payments in a RED envelope, along with a wish you want granted (not by me, of course, but by the cosmos! :D) scribbled in the envelope along with your signature. I usually carry a spare bag where customers could all slip in their bills after their turn, & I’ll try to tote around my own stash of red envelopes for your convenience, but if you can, kindly comply.

3). Do not shuffle my cards as if you’re going to challenge me for a round of poker or gin rummy… & try to concentrate on your intentions while shuffling my deck as carefully as possible. Also, you can only look at ALL the cards after we’ve concluded our reading. If you want to know what the rest of the cards of a certain deck looks like, at least do your research online, unless I get chummy enough with you (more often than not I probably will be) that you can go through my stuff as much as you want. Oh, & please have CLEAN hands. If you must eat, do so after shuffling. & you have a cold, you might as well try to get well first before seeing me, or let’s just talk online (since there’s always PayPal & other electronic means, hehe). I’m only human, & flu shots can only do so much. I would want to share your pain at some point, but not your cooties ever, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m fugly & I have dust bunnies in my huge bag, but that’s not calling it quits.

4). I welcome feedback very much, & I appreciate if you can tell me how much my reading has made an impression on you, at the very least. Don’t forget, I offer birthday specials, by the way, so…

5). Please be patient with me if your request via e-mail takes more than 72 hours. That means I’m trying to gain more perspective on your complex dilemma, or that I’m too ill to proceed. Rest assured I’ll deliver very soon. Usually it only takes up to 48 hours for me to respond.

6). Before I would strongly advise a follow-up session only after 2-3 months for optimum results. Now I welcome visits as soon as after every 2 weeks. I understand how lack of clarity & insight can drive people up the wall for answers & relief, so I’m offering my services when one most needs it. It’s cathartic for me as well, anyway. But, please, for the love of God, if the cards' messages are just repeating themselves, better take heed, FAST. & try to wait for at least 3-4 weeks more before your next appointment.

7). If you’re up for it just because you want me to convince you that tarot can change your life, in the same fashion that you would want to see me walk on water or blow up a neighboring skyscraper by just snapping my fingers or turn water into wine or levitate or make dead people reappear holographically or make a million dollars rain all over the sidewalk, I’m afraid I’m only going to let you down, whether we both like it or not. Go find your own freak show.

That’s it for now. I hope everybody understands. More posts later.
Today has been a very busy day, but thank God for Sleepasil.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

gong xi fa cai!

So some of coworkers were kind enough to go with me to this geomancer last weekend on our way home. Thanks, guys. Unfortunately, the geomancer & his assistant weren’t that accommodating, as if they just wanted to shoo us away. They deem their business to be only for real bigwigs, not for struggling yuppies. To think I would’ve wanted to get a pricey reading the next time I drop by, but why would I want to consult someone who isn’t nice enough to even look me in the eye? No thanks. In the end, it’s still all about customer service. No amount of feng shui would be able to cure that. That moment I resolved to study more intently about feng shui by myself. Nothing beats DIY sometimes. Good thing the neighboring shop that sells feng shui cures, tools, books, & ornaments was a more inviting place! In an instant I noticed a wealth jar, a singing bowl, & a heart-shaped rose quartz crystal. My coworker who offered to help me with designing my new calling cards told me I should make a list of items I’d need when I shop there next time, haha. Oh, I will, alright. Especially now that I’ve realized how much decor we had lying around the house that was crucial to feng shui before we moved to our new residence 10 years ago, which was notably turbulent for me & my family. OMG why didn’t I take special notice of such things?! There was my dad’s small colored tiered pagoda on his desk which I loved immensely, & my mom’s quirky money frog & crystal tree & old abacus in our living room, among other trinkets. Maybe it’s high time to redecorate. I need new windchimes & some quartz crystals anyway, or even that Tai Sui coin that may come in very handy this year, even if I still think this is going to be a grand period despite everything. Or maybe even a Ba Gua mirror & a Chinese lantern.

The trick, I believe, to making feng shui work is to follow one’s instincts & work with whatever’s available before acquiring new wares that we think would help us with the practice. At least in my case, I really would have to take care of the clutter in my bedroom before anything else. Oh, & restock on scented candles, since I’ve been working with those for the longest time, & it’s a great way to tap into Fire energy which I’ve been lacking lately.

I’ve always been entranced with ancient Oriental culture (at least in terms of artwork & festivities & costumes & weaponry) ever since I was as young as 3 years old. When my older sisters & I were in my grand-aunt’s house playing, I immediately grabbed a Chinese doll & a brown toy horse & spent the rest of the afternoon in her garden & made use of a tiered pagoda displayed there. Years later, I found myself smiling upon seeing again those items on the shelf when I went back there & even my grand-auntie remembered how I chose those particular playthings. Whether it would be Chinese or Japanese, I always found myself gravitating towards everything Oriental. I have no idea why, & I’m the only one among my siblings to really be fascinated with the concept/theme/mood/design, even if my departed youngest sister liked J-pop so much that she taught herself how to speak & read in Japanese, haha. Le sigh. Must be my lame Chinese heritage via my mother. (That grand-aunt I'm talking about is her mother's cousin, btw.)

Everytime I’d read tarot, I would incorporate whatever I know about feng shui whenever applicable & share them to my clients. For the most part, it makes a whole lot of sense. Maybe I really should be more serious with my research. Haha. Now I think I know what I would truly want to be when I grow up. :P