family: the ties that bind… & gag!

Is it coincidence or what that my Housewives Tarot deck wants to make itself prominent right before Mothers’ Day? :D I only realized it at the last minute. Oh, yes, yikes, the review. Anyway, I’d like to greet everyone that even if the occasion’s already over, especially my young mom patrons. I was able to hug my mom twice after how many YEARS, & I sure miss her despite everything. We’ve never really got along well ever since I got into high school, you see, but she’s still my mother after all, & I really wouldn’t want to disappoint her anymore. But I’m still my own person, & I know being truly myself wouldn’t really make her happy, & for this reason I so miss my father, who’s always been understanding of my whims. In fact, he’s actually the reason why I’m still distraught today, & for this post. He’s always been praying for me for the longest time, & I can always feel that. Sometimes I would feel like he has not just one, but two guardian angels looking after me wherever I go. Now that he’s gone, though, I’m not sure how everything’s going to work out, but that’s fine with me. I guess I have to be more secure with my faith.

With this, I present this e-mail excerpt I got today. Sorry if it runs a bit too preachy, & I think I’m not that much of a Christian anymore, but here goes. Haha, sometimes spam is the best stuff to read whenever I’m online:

HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILD
Author Unknown
May 13 2008

If you pray one of these a month, you will have your child covered for a year!

1. Pray NOTHING hinders your child from accepting Christ as his/her personal Savior early in life. (Matthew 19:14)

2. Pray your child learns to know God and will have a deep desire to do God’s will for his/her life. (Psalms 119:27,30,34, 35).

3. Pray child hears stories from the Bible that will be a basis for his/her decisions throughout life. (Ecclesiastes 12:1, Psalms 71:17).

4. Pray child will develop a keen sense of right and wrong and that he/she will truly abhor evil and cling to that which is good. (Psalms 139:23-4).

5. Pray child will increase in wisdom (mentally) and in stature (physically) and in favor with God (spiritually) and man (socially). (Luke 2:52). This prayer covers his/her total development to his/her full potential.

6. Pray that child will develop a thankful heart and a positive mental attitude. (Psalm 126:2-3, Romans 8:31)

7. Pray that God protect child from Satan and his/her wiles in every area of his/her life. (John 17:55, Psalm 121)

8. Pray that God would destroy the enemies in his/her life whether they be weaknesses, lying, selfishness, etc. (Psalms 120:2; 140).

9. Pray that God would make him/her successful in the work God has for him/her to do. (Psalm 118:25, 139:9-10)

10. Pray he/she have a strong sense of belonging to a family that is loving and dwells together in unity (Psalms 133, Colossians 3:12-14).

11. Pray he/she will respect authority. (Romans 13:1, Ephesians 6:1-4).

12. Pray that his/her entire life will be a testimony of the greatness and love of Christ. (Phillippians 2:15-16 Thess 5:2-3)

I’ve highlighted the ones I like best. ♥

& yes, I do read the Bible everytime I get the chance, & I have high regard for my secular Religious Education instructor in college, whom I got stellar grades from, who handled my freshman & senior classes, & who taught us the relevance of homosexual orientation (she was going by the syllabus, mind you!) & divine inspiration. I wonder how she is now. Then the old maid who taught me Christology in my sophomore year & made me do voice tapes every grading period just so I could pass in her class is now dead but at least she would praise me unabashedly to her younger students, alongside the ranks of these two honor students-since-birth who graduated cum laude in my school from my very own department (one already passed away because of cancer, though, & she was rather pretty). I have now gone down in history as one of her best protégés ever, haha, even if I’ve grown up to become less geeky & zealous with Catholicism = Christianity (because Tarot has already won me over). I hold my dad responsible for my awareness beyond Catholicism, as he himself was interested in publications such as The Plain Truth, anti-liberation theology (probably brought upon by his work), & anything else New Age that dealt with psychism & pranic awareness. What I would call chi, he would call prana. Not that there's any difference. It should be obvious by now that I was the only one in the family whom he could talk to regarding controversial subjects, & yet everytime I would press him for more details, he would just tell me to focus on my youth & everyday terra firma drama. I guess he had a point, as I was only in high school then. We didn’t talk much about tarot cards, though, & I wasn’t really interested in them to begin with, but voila. :D His last advice about my reading them was that I could strive to find a way to incorporate biblical references in my sessions. & I told him, not to worry, Dad, everytime the Hierophant card pops up, it comes naturally… it just can’t be helped. He influenced me to pay reverence to the Virgin Mary as my spiritual Mother as much as God Himself is my spiritual Father, without being holier-than-thou & freaky. He taught me as well how to ask for wisdom & guidance ALWAYS, & to praise Them wholeheartedly. Being the incorrigible idiot that I am, I would still question God’s supremacy & existence even in my prayers, & I would tell my dad all about it, challenging his own views in turn. Haha, cocky, I know, but that’s why I love him, because I could talk to him like a friend without bypassing his authority. He would remind me of my responsibilities but he would still lovingly spoil me anyway. Despite our dysfunctional family, I’m proud to have him as my dad, & I hope to make him proud of me finally someday. I wonder if my real name will ever live up to its meaning. (Haha, & funny, after Googling my first name up, I discovered it to be a name for a doom metal/progressive rock band & a black metal/thrash band respectively — I think I like the latter better! They’re Japanese, too! Attack with Spell FTW! ^_^ MySpace is only good for band profiles, seriously, IMHO.)



So, there, I miss my parents, & I still worry about what they’ll think about me, especially with what I’m getting myself into lately, but despite everything, I would like to assure them that perhaps this is the process of growing up the hard way, & I’ll try my best not to cause them any more problems. But of course I’d like to thank them for taking care of me whenever I do get into trouble, hehe. I might not be able to give them a grandchild anymore ever, but that’s fine, right?

Entry title courtesy of Erma Bombeck.