Mercury schmercury

As usual, I've been gone for so long. I'm so sorry. I've been a very sick girl since The Collective Art Fair & I'm still getting my moxie back. I look like shit, I feel like shit. I've treated a few random people like shit, too, unfortunately, just this month. Not even this pricey staycation at a tucked-away chi-chi place in my most favorite city & a getaway to the 2nd best beach destination in the world (my 2nd trip, too, for this year, alone at that!) helped make me feel better. I spent so much on doctor's fees, antihistamines, heavy-duty multivitamins, band-aids (yes, I injured my right thumb while jetskiing, WTF, after my hands went numb from parasailing solo), premier transport services, O2 (that's oxygen for you), cough remedies (Solmux & Sinecod & Strepsils) & ooh, high-grade honey products for this month alone & it's disheartening. Add to that my damaged hair woes, my blotched face (no thanks to allergies & my drat period), & deepening frown/scowl lines from all these complaint letters I had to write this month. Despite my best efforts to stay healthy & sane. I hate this month. What a rip-off. But I'm still happy for them little highlights I've enjoyed. & I have fellow Air signs as loyal clients lately. I'll throw you ladies a surprise, don't worry. But I'm glad my readings are spot-on for them. I just hope it would be like that for the rest of my clientele.

I still have a couple of lengthy emailed readings to send out later today, & I have so many other things to review here, like finally, my own Revelations Tarot deck (YOWZA! THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME!), my new massage oil, my local Ayurveda experience, & this awesome Heal & Energize Your Life talk at my new favorite haunt Corner Tree Cafe that I attended just last week. I've talked to Ms. Rosan Cruz about having a chakra healing seminar, & I'm hoping my friends/students can go before Ms. Moni Platt leaves the country next month. Should be slated around April 5, Maundy Thursday, 9pm-6pm, within Makati. If fellow budding healers/energy workers are interested, please leave a comment here so we can discuss this. The seminar should be limited to 20 people max. I'm hoping I can bring at least 4-6 more people in. I've learned so much during the 2-hour-talk, & it was a wonderful, serendipitous experience. I'm worried it might not push through, but I got the Healing card from my Osho Zen deck (cf. King of Cups) for it, so yeah, I do pray it happens. We really could use it. I've been meaning to study Reiki ever since 2007, for starters, & about time I'd be ready for it.

I'm also trying to tidy up my space. I've figured I'll just stay at home today & finish everything I need to work on. (That's exactly what this Mercury retrograde energy is for, yeah? But if only Mercury didn't have to be in Pisces. I was already revved up when there was a Sun-Mercury Rx conjunct in Aries, only to be stuck like Velcro again, argh.) It was the most quiet Gemini Moon night, btw, I've ever had last night. But the awesome star-studded must-watch feel-good Muppets movie made up for it. Quite fitting to watch during a Mercury in Pisces in retrograde season, eh? "For them lovers, dreamers, & Me." Heh. & I'm beginning to appreciate song-&-dance numbers in movies (especially this fantastic brief [500] Days of Summer moment with Hall & Oates in the background, haha). & by checking my online movie transaction logs, I haven't been to my favorite cinema since August last year! :( So I guess I deserve a break.

& a break I shall continue to have within the year, especially after stumbling upon this article on my News Feed earlier today. HOLY SHIT, THE STORY OF MY LIFE RIGHT HERE!

"Your life is precarious. When you were in high school and college, you treated your mortality like it was a crappy purse. You stomped on it, broke a strap, let a vodka bottle spill out and ruin the leather. You did all of this believing it would all be repaired while you were sleeping, and it usually was. You reach a point, however, when the leather stays torn, when the piece of crap bag becomes beaten beyond repair. Simply put, you have to take a more proactive role in maintaining your happiness and well-being. You’re not just someone watching their own life from afar. You’re in it now. And if you don’t take care of it, it will fall to pieces."

"There’s a certain kind of beauty with being reckless with your body and mind. Closing the chapter on that and actively becoming the person you’re going to be feels great but it’s also a tad bittersweet."

"Sometimes you want to go back to being the person you were before all the bad stuff happened, but you know that’s impossible. So you just bid adieu to that time and look towards your future. (FYI, it looks super bright!)"

& that, ladies & gentlemen, is how I got into Tarot in the 1st place, about 10 years ago. I'm still flailing around. Anyway, I can never thank my friends & eventually family for helping me bounce back from my self-destructive heydays. I'll really just do my best to stay out of trouble from now on, even if my impatience & impetuousness are getting the best of me again. (I promise not to talk to strangers today, lest I'd lash out at them unsuspectingly, under a crazy Sun-Pluto square, on my Lunar return.) I can't believe I'm this old na, even if I still keep getting mistaken for a 25/27- year-old brat. I miss my youth, but I'm just so glad I'm at this stage in my life where I'm really beginning to enjoy my existence as I now know my purpose more here. I just don't want to be too serious yet like how I've been ever since, & I've been contemplating on childlessness like hell earlier. I mean, if you've been reading this blog since day one, or if you know me in person, you should know by now I don't want kids EVER. (OK, maybe just one, if I do get married, haha, whateverrr, but I'll be 40 in a few years & I'm still not taking care of myself as much as I'm supposed to? So how's that gonna happen? No, I don't want to read my cards about it.)

(& no thanks to that article as well as this season, I've been thinking again about how I've made my ex-fiance suffer so much when all he wanted primarily was to be just some "gas filler" (& I'd be Lightning McQueen, LOL) even if he did promise to laze around a beach in possibly Corsica with me, among other things, if we do manage to grow old together. Today is his 30th birthday, actually, & I can only wish him the best from afar this way. [Yes, I'm quite older than him, but quite as immature.] I still love him for being so kind to me during our time together, but maybe being apart like this is much better for the both of us in the long run. I'm still hoping he's already forgiven me, even if it's all I've ever asked the heavens after our disdainful breakup.)

Anyway, my scatterbrained self is going off-tangent again. But lemme share with you how last night's coincidental Twitter discussion was about The Empress card. I've befriended a young artist who's getting to learn how to read Tarot & when I RT'd The Tarot Lady's draw of the Empress reversed, she mentioned she got her, too. So I asked her what does She represent to you now? So she gave me the usual meaning for it, while I said, literally, it could mean me taking myself out on a date (again), honoring myself, having a Me Party, & Miss Piggy declaring herself irreplaceable. HAHA. No, seriously. Tarot's much more fun to learn when you begin to realize how literal they can be (& that's how you get crazy accurate readings sometimes). #tarottips

I'll probably hold another Tarot-reading workshop in May. I can't wait to surf + skimboard (this was actually fun this month, haha) next month & then laze around a much quieter beach weeks after. I believe in signs all the more now, & I know I'll be back by the sea once I'm done. But first, must declutter, must email, must revamp this blog layout (watch out for a really girly display, haha), & must realign everything else. I've wasted too much time already on a wrong platform so I'm working my way back here. :)