birthday blues + Venus in Leo + Mars return

It's my Solar return soon, & I did say before on Facebook that I won't be having Tarot readings from September 21-30, as part of my birthday break on the 25th. I'll be slightly more than 3 decades old by then, even if it doesn't really show (& I'm still freaked out with how I act like I'm only 12 sometimes). Please take note. & please feel free to show me your love in any (CAVEAT: non-threatening) way! Haha. 

I'm still grateful for my most loyal clients who'd go out of their way to treat me to coffee & munchies while I read for them, or dole out presents even before my actual birthday next week. I've already received awesome spa items from The Body Shop, then I'm expecting a cupcake cookbook all the way from London. Their generosity will be ardently repaid. I believe in quid pro quo, after all, & that's the way to go. ♥  

I really haven't taken care of my wishlist yet, but it will include cookbooks from The Barefoot Contessa, an ice cream maker (yes, please, I miss having cookies-&-cream ice cream, just like what Mom used to make), a new oven along with a state-of-the-art kitchen, because my Cancer Moon in my 5th House (cusp in Gemini) demands it. Plus the repeated draws of the Queen of Wands card is denoting how my inner Venus is hellbent on becoming the next domestic goddess. Haha. Come back later. I'll even give my shipping address so you can all send me your gifts of choice! ♥ 

Anyway, check out this awesome Katy Perry remix from my new favorite local D&B producer + DJ, because I love the original track (IKR, so unlikely of me, yeah?) to begin with & I'm all for supporting local talent all the more while Neptune's in Pisces for the next few years. Kinda funny how the day before he announced he was going to remix this song, I was wondering how else it could sound differently. Et voila. So much fun. Thanks anyway, Universe! (You can catch him perform live later here.)

"I don't have to sell my soul... He's already in me."

"Anti-Lamentation" 

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.

Not the nights you called God names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

- Dorianne Laux

Can't thank Lea Rose enough for this poem. Perfect for this gloomy week.

I just want to feel better, like the rest of you.