Mercury schmercury

As usual, I've been gone for so long. I'm so sorry. I've been a very sick girl since The Collective Art Fair & I'm still getting my moxie back. I look like shit, I feel like shit. I've treated a few random people like shit, too, unfortunately, just this month. Not even this pricey staycation at a tucked-away chi-chi place in my most favorite city & a getaway to the 2nd best beach destination in the world (my 2nd trip, too, for this year, alone at that!) helped make me feel better. I spent so much on doctor's fees, antihistamines, heavy-duty multivitamins, band-aids (yes, I injured my right thumb while jetskiing, WTF, after my hands went numb from parasailing solo), premier transport services, O2 (that's oxygen for you), cough remedies (Solmux & Sinecod & Strepsils) & ooh, high-grade honey products for this month alone & it's disheartening. Add to that my damaged hair woes, my blotched face (no thanks to allergies & my drat period), & deepening frown/scowl lines from all these complaint letters I had to write this month. Despite my best efforts to stay healthy & sane. I hate this month. What a rip-off. But I'm still happy for them little highlights I've enjoyed. & I have fellow Air signs as loyal clients lately. I'll throw you ladies a surprise, don't worry. But I'm glad my readings are spot-on for them. I just hope it would be like that for the rest of my clientele.

I still have a couple of lengthy emailed readings to send out later today, & I have so many other things to review here, like finally, my own Revelations Tarot deck (YOWZA! THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME!), my new massage oil, my local Ayurveda experience, & this awesome Heal & Energize Your Life talk at my new favorite haunt Corner Tree Cafe that I attended just last week. I've talked to Ms. Rosan Cruz about having a chakra healing seminar, & I'm hoping my friends/students can go before Ms. Moni Platt leaves the country next month. Should be slated around April 5, Maundy Thursday, 9pm-6pm, within Makati. If fellow budding healers/energy workers are interested, please leave a comment here so we can discuss this. The seminar should be limited to 20 people max. I'm hoping I can bring at least 4-6 more people in. I've learned so much during the 2-hour-talk, & it was a wonderful, serendipitous experience. I'm worried it might not push through, but I got the Healing card from my Osho Zen deck (cf. King of Cups) for it, so yeah, I do pray it happens. We really could use it. I've been meaning to study Reiki ever since 2007, for starters, & about time I'd be ready for it.

I'm also trying to tidy up my space. I've figured I'll just stay at home today & finish everything I need to work on. (That's exactly what this Mercury retrograde energy is for, yeah? But if only Mercury didn't have to be in Pisces. I was already revved up when there was a Sun-Mercury Rx conjunct in Aries, only to be stuck like Velcro again, argh.) It was the most quiet Gemini Moon night, btw, I've ever had last night. But the awesome star-studded must-watch feel-good Muppets movie made up for it. Quite fitting to watch during a Mercury in Pisces in retrograde season, eh? "For them lovers, dreamers, & Me." Heh. & I'm beginning to appreciate song-&-dance numbers in movies (especially this fantastic brief [500] Days of Summer moment with Hall & Oates in the background, haha). & by checking my online movie transaction logs, I haven't been to my favorite cinema since August last year! :( So I guess I deserve a break.

& a break I shall continue to have within the year, especially after stumbling upon this article on my News Feed earlier today. HOLY SHIT, THE STORY OF MY LIFE RIGHT HERE!

"Your life is precarious. When you were in high school and college, you treated your mortality like it was a crappy purse. You stomped on it, broke a strap, let a vodka bottle spill out and ruin the leather. You did all of this believing it would all be repaired while you were sleeping, and it usually was. You reach a point, however, when the leather stays torn, when the piece of crap bag becomes beaten beyond repair. Simply put, you have to take a more proactive role in maintaining your happiness and well-being. You’re not just someone watching their own life from afar. You’re in it now. And if you don’t take care of it, it will fall to pieces."

"There’s a certain kind of beauty with being reckless with your body and mind. Closing the chapter on that and actively becoming the person you’re going to be feels great but it’s also a tad bittersweet."

"Sometimes you want to go back to being the person you were before all the bad stuff happened, but you know that’s impossible. So you just bid adieu to that time and look towards your future. (FYI, it looks super bright!)"

& that, ladies & gentlemen, is how I got into Tarot in the 1st place, about 10 years ago. I'm still flailing around. Anyway, I can never thank my friends & eventually family for helping me bounce back from my self-destructive heydays. I'll really just do my best to stay out of trouble from now on, even if my impatience & impetuousness are getting the best of me again. (I promise not to talk to strangers today, lest I'd lash out at them unsuspectingly, under a crazy Sun-Pluto square, on my Lunar return.) I can't believe I'm this old na, even if I still keep getting mistaken for a 25/27- year-old brat. I miss my youth, but I'm just so glad I'm at this stage in my life where I'm really beginning to enjoy my existence as I now know my purpose more here. I just don't want to be too serious yet like how I've been ever since, & I've been contemplating on childlessness like hell earlier. I mean, if you've been reading this blog since day one, or if you know me in person, you should know by now I don't want kids EVER. (OK, maybe just one, if I do get married, haha, whateverrr, but I'll be 40 in a few years & I'm still not taking care of myself as much as I'm supposed to? So how's that gonna happen? No, I don't want to read my cards about it.)

(& no thanks to that article as well as this season, I've been thinking again about how I've made my ex-fiance suffer so much when all he wanted primarily was to be just some "gas filler" (& I'd be Lightning McQueen, LOL) even if he did promise to laze around a beach in possibly Corsica with me, among other things, if we do manage to grow old together. Today is his 30th birthday, actually, & I can only wish him the best from afar this way. [Yes, I'm quite older than him, but quite as immature.] I still love him for being so kind to me during our time together, but maybe being apart like this is much better for the both of us in the long run. I'm still hoping he's already forgiven me, even if it's all I've ever asked the heavens after our disdainful breakup.)

Anyway, my scatterbrained self is going off-tangent again. But lemme share with you how last night's coincidental Twitter discussion was about The Empress card. I've befriended a young artist who's getting to learn how to read Tarot & when I RT'd The Tarot Lady's draw of the Empress reversed, she mentioned she got her, too. So I asked her what does She represent to you now? So she gave me the usual meaning for it, while I said, literally, it could mean me taking myself out on a date (again), honoring myself, having a Me Party, & Miss Piggy declaring herself irreplaceable. HAHA. No, seriously. Tarot's much more fun to learn when you begin to realize how literal they can be (& that's how you get crazy accurate readings sometimes). #tarottips

I'll probably hold another Tarot-reading workshop in May. I can't wait to surf + skimboard (this was actually fun this month, haha) next month & then laze around a much quieter beach weeks after. I believe in signs all the more now, & I know I'll be back by the sea once I'm done. But first, must declutter, must email, must revamp this blog layout (watch out for a really girly display, haha), & must realign everything else. I've wasted too much time already on a wrong platform so I'm working my way back here. :)

love schmlove (& my struggle with asserting "healthy selfishness")

Since it's already my birthday season (Solar return) & Saturn is still in my sign Libra (which rules relationships, equality, beauty, romance, & harmony, ugh), let me go ahead & repost this article on relationships. It's been crazy how people have been getting readings about relationships wondering what went wrong & how to make things work between them & their respective partners again, but for the life of me, surprisingly, do not actually understand the dynamics of it all. I know, been there, done that. While I actually welcome my current empowered single grrl status (like I've said before, it's my Aquarius rising's fault), I want other people to realize that it does really take 2 to tango, so to speak, in a relationship. I've seen things go awry in my own family, with my own parents, to boot. I've mediated for them, as early as 15, & I'm not the eldest child, to begin with, take note. & I've rooted for either my mom (Pisces-Aries cusp) or my dad (Sagittarius) at some point. But I felt I was too young to care about their issues, anyway. The threat of them getting a separation (divorce is yet unheard of in this country, sigh) even as early as 1987 was crazy. & them telling us incessantly to be really sure of whom we'll end up with before doing anything stupid is just too much to bear, but thanks Mom & Dad, everything I need to know, I actually didn't have to hear from you both. But yeah. I've seen too much. & dysfunctional relationships drain the shit out of me everytime. My solution sans the cards? Let go until things clear between both parties, if it really can't be helped. Why stay when people cheat/stray anyway? Unfortunately, my job entails to offer proactive solutions to make things work between 2 people (*sigh* motherfucker *sigh*) & I totally hate it when people still insist on their ways, justifying their flaws & shortcomings in their relationship. I'm sorry, but why are you asking for my help again if you're not even open to the idea of helping yourself that way? I'm very busy & I've other more worthwhile things to do in my spare time, so please. Don't bother the fuck out of me if you're resisting to take your chances. Again, it's your life, after all. Have a little more faith in it, as my favorite cheeky self-help book says. & honestly, for the love of God, you can't just magically make a person come back to you without really taking a good look at yourself first & understanding what the fuck's wrong with you, while understanding as well as ACCEPTING that your paramour is a completely different person, who doesn't really think like you do. Again, men & women are hard-wired biologically to think, speak, & act differently, despite my sensitive male clients & strong-willed women patrons. So, please. & that, my dearies, is the reason why I've decided to stay single all this time. Until I find someone who soothes me with his mere presence & respects my idiosyncrasies & complements my very being with his individuality & treats me like a princess every single time especially on my bad hair days, not to mention have his friends adore me, then I'll keep myself enthralled with your relationship issues. Whatev. :/

(oh, wait, I think I already have, haha, & let's hope he asks me out very soon, ahem — but I really wouldn't mind if he doesn't yet because I'm too fucking busy for anyone else, to begin with! Gah.)

Again, these are powerful pointers to remember in making your relationships work:

1. Develop Your Own Personality
Too often we get into a relationship & lose ourselves. We stop doing those things that made us happy when we were single (hanging out with friends, reading on our own or our favorite hobbies). Instead, we spend as much time as possible for the other person. Remind yourself of who you are. If you've forgotten, get to know yourself again.

2. Be Happy
Be happy yourself. If you need someone else to make you happy, you’ll be disappointed every time. They can't read your mind & don't know your every need. Instead of relying on them for all your happiness, rely on yourself. Do what makes you happy, then you'll be happier in your relationship. Also, tell your partner about what makes you happy & ask them the same.

3. Work Together as a Team
If a couple can get along camping (in a tent, in the woods) for a weekend, then they have a strong relationship. They can cooperate to get tasks done & still find time to have fun. So split up the house chores or hire a cleaning service so you can stop arguing over who does the chores. Divide & conquer!

4. Talk About Problems!
Have you ever not talked about a problem with your partner? Have you watched your fear & anxiety increase tremendously as the problem grew in your mind? When you finally talked about it with your partner or it finally exploded, was the reality as bad as you expected? I've said it before, you’ve read it before – so instead of holding it inside, talk about it with your partner. No gossiping. No talking behind each other's back. & NO second-guessing.

5. Share Life Based on Reality
In Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, Elizabeth's younger sister married a military man. She thought the marriage was just dreamy. In reality, the couple was forced to marry, because she had run away with the man and lived in sin. Check that you're really seeing your relationship for what it is. If you have an assumption, talk about it with your partner to get a reality check.

6. No Finger-Pointing
No matter what happens, do not point your finger at them. The old adage is that when you point one finger, three more are pointing back at you. You will have disagreements, you will not be pleased with some things your partner does, & you will lose your temper occasionally. This is normal. Blaming each other is not.

7. Honor & Respect the Person You're With
Sometimes all it takes is a moment to really look at your partner & all the things they do for you (or would do if you allowed them) & what they mean in your life. If you honored and respected your partner, you'd be amazed how differently your relationship can be. The trust that is created is amazing.

Yeah, please, remember all that, especially if you're already contemplating on breaking up for good. Now remember, a little space doesn't really hurt anyone, & I personally believe that a relationship does require breathing & thinking space from time to time. Of course, there should be trust & open communication just the same. No lying. No bullshit. No judgmental, critical, demeaning remarks just because you don't agree to what your partner wants. Maybe this song will help you realize things. "So I can wait a while, if it brings me back to you," so it croons. Funny I had to be reminded of this song by someone I really, really loved from way back, before my ex-fiance, but we were just too chicken shit to do anything about our feelings for each other. (But yeah, maybe He's Just Not That Into Me. So what. The feeling's so mutual!)



& maybe all you strong-willed, driven women should lighten up & be more in touch with your inner Venus while you're at it.

Remember that to have commitment, people should of course have strong compatibility & consistent communication. But what's more important is for the people in question to be able to compromise & cooperate whenever necessary. & no matter what happens, especially once all of those key components is exhausted, compassion should still prevail. Even after a devastating breakup. It took me 4 long years to finally have the gall to say sorry to my ex-fiance for being the girlfriend from Hell & wish ultimately for his happiness without wishing him dead like 5 minutes after.

& let me share with you this funny quote that got stuck with me throughout the years, from Jessica Zafra:

“You can not make someone love you. You can NOT be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.”

& please remember that I will not be doing any readings starting today until Wednesday, September 28th. I can do a 3pm-7pm thingamajig but that's it. Remote readings will have to wait until the following day. PLEASE, HAVE MERCY. It's my birthday weekend & I'm still getting the house + garden fixed, & I'm despicably sunburned. Text me beforehand should you want to be scheduled for Wednesday onwards: (+63) 0920-433-5420. Please note that I might be in the middle of a reading session so if you call, I might not be able to pick up immediately. Text me FIRST before calling. I'm adamantly sticking to my schedules but I want to accommodate everyone as much as I can this month. Meaning, I'd rather read on these particular days at MY preferred places so, please, I beg of you. (House calls will have extra charge, up to double my standard rate, depending on location & weather conditions. For now, I can only accommodate requests within the Makati CBD. For more information how I do my readings, please read the updated 2nd FAQ.)

& to throw in my number one PET PEEVE du jour:

"Asking the same or similar questions multiple times indicates that you aren't paying attention to the answers you’ve been given. Sometimes readings will be [completely useless] because people already know the answer to their question, but they don't want to admit they do, or they are hoping the answer will change."

Thank you for reading this verbose seething-with-indignation post, & forever trusting me with your myriad issues. Now excuse me while I try to get my life back. It's been a grueling week, & all I've ever been doing is fuming about it. Happy fucking birthday to me tomorrow. Nothing — & NO ONE — will get in the way of this. It's been a wonderful 3 decades, Universe. I'm very happy about how things are working out for me. ♥ *cough*