a day in the life of this New Age Grrl begins

Today is the last week (& Tuesday) of the first month of the New Year, & we're smack-dab in the middle of a Mercury retrograde (transiting my Ascendant, no less) & a Jupiter retrograde (no wonder my Jupiter return doesn't feel so breezy). But I'm going to be updating, nevertheless, so hello again, everybody. The Moon is in Taurus again now, which I love, so that makes me productive & relaxed at the same time, just before I get more emo & domesticated before it slips into Gemini then finally into my Lunar sign Cancer. I'll be dealing with a lot of home-related matters this weekend until before the first weekend of next month, which means I won't be available for face-to-face sessions until February 7th, 3pm-8pm (for select clients only).

A lot of things has truly changed with me. Today actually marks the last day of my Basic DNA2 class 2 years ago, when I have discovered ThetaHealing®, & I'm still making use of it in my life. It isn't easy changing so rapidly, & I had to employ other methods to help stabilize me: Reiki, Bowen therapy, flower essences (both Bach & FlorAlive), & Millennium Method™ (which I've managed to complete in less than a year last year, & it was a most costly but important personal journey... no regrets). Right now, I only swear by ThetaHealing®, Sacred Activations (founded by a ThetaHealing® Certificate of Science holder), Millennium Method™, flower essences, & Reiki. I only practise ThetaHealing® & Millennium Method™ for now, along with my Tarot readings, & I'm happy with the results these have given me & my clients. Especially my clients. Like my Client of the Year for 2014 just got engaged on NYE, & I have a budding teenage ThetaHealer® client who's sworn to help heal her family & friends drastically, while at the same time who's meant to really be in the limelight as a young beauty queen + global ambassador. I'm so proud. I love breakthroughs.

I'm happy for all my clients who've shifted in one way or another — manifesting a better car than what they've expected, gained more money, landed a better job, traveled when they hardly believed they actually could (& so much more), snagged bigger commissions, gained more confidence for school/work, glowed in better health (especially after reporting to be sleeping so much more soundly), acquired more energy to do the things they love, & finally becoming more in touch with their spirituality (one my best news in my book). Little miracles in the physical health department happened, too, especially remotely — like my client who healed from chickenpox; then another client who healed from some weird inexplicable water retention which targeted her joints, but after my working on her, it was gone the next day, much to her doctors' surprise; then another finally off his braces & PTSD & the rest of his pubescent problems; & a client who got physically 'assaulted' but she recovered IMMEDIATELY after one session; & even my brother who fell off while skating, whose pain (thankfully, only that, nothing else) went away quickly (but as a doting older sister, I had to follow it up with some organic cooling leg & foot gel). 

I already knew I had to be a healer in one way or another (actually, dreaded) when I had to monitor his eventual heart (after looking through his chakras) while he was being rushed from one hospital to another for poisoning a few years back, on our Mars return, just after our birthday month. (He's a Virgo, though, Pisces Rising — while you all should know I'm a Libra, Aquarius Rising.) I thank the Creator that he's okay, but we still have a long way to go. 

Actually, I really was having a huge issue about other clients calling me a "healer" because I had a friend-turned-client-turned-colleague who asked me about her own healer journey, & I'm honored to be part of that, as she healed me, too, at first with Reiki. I mean, my point was, ME? Seriously? But here we are. I did obsess about health even if I was only 6 years old with all the medical books lying around the house & my more-frequent-than-normal trips to the infirmary & all the vaccinations I got subjected to (& I still fucking hate syringes!) I do have medical practitioners in my (estranged) family (e.g., an actual oncologist, a pharmacist, a bunch of nurses). & I still have posts lying around here about my Saturn return in finicky, obsessive Virgo describing how I juggled to get balanced in that department. & I did handle so many crazy health readings via Tarot alone. I even would catch myself telling my doctor or nurse clients mid-reading that, "Wait, I'm not a doctor, so I shouldn't be telling you (insert either a diagnosis or a suggested prescription here), but you can see that this particular case makes sense, yes?" WTH, right? Again, alternative healing methods are just complementary to what we have per traditional medicine. & you should still consult your doctor(s) to track your progress.

I only get Reiki & Sacred Activations from other practitioners. You can ask me about them in private. Actually, I'm posting more now here to be able to feature them soon. But for now I'm learning to hone my present Tools to use on myself, & I'm happy to grow more trust in the Source-Of-All-That-Is as I do it. I fully acknowledge that I can't do it alone, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be lax & let others do all the work (unless it's clearing my space via a housekeeper or a professional organizer, whoops). Healing is a lovely process, & it's a dynamic two-way street. At least now I'm safe to let go, after much discernment.

I still want to be able to talk more about my personal life as I update more here, as part of my healing journey. You'll read more about my silly whims, & more of the reasons why I need to undergo healing myself. Right now I'm just too happy to be more Awakened & Integrated. Perfect timing, astrologically-speaking, honestly, & I can't wait to live my life the way I really want it to, while inspiring more young people (inadvertently, more like, haha) to do the same.

To summarize what else I do aside from give Tarot readings (with my usual astrology & feng shui advice), for your reference:

-ThetaHealing®
a) World Relations (May 2014)
b) Family Ties (Jan 2014)
c) Soul Mate (Dec 2013 - reviewed in Nov 2014)
d) Game of Life (Jul 2013)
e) Plant Communication (LOL) - (Mar 2014) 
f) RHYTHM (Mar 2013)
g) Intuitive Anatomy (Apr 2013)

**UPDATE!**
h) Basic DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
i) Advanced DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
j) Manifesting & Abundance Instructors (May 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
k) Dig Deeper Practitioners (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
l) Dig Deeper Instructors (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
m) Think What You Think (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
n) DNA3 (Nov 2015) - BGC, Philippines

-Crystal Layout Past-Life Regression
a) Basic - Remote Viewing (Sep 2013)
b) Advanced - Soul Travel (Dec 2013) 

-Millennium Method™
a) Relationships module (Mar 2014)
b) Kids module (Mar 2014)
c) Biotoxins (Mar 2014)
d) Empowerment (May 2014) - Wan Chai, Hong Kong 
e) Medical Intuitive (May 2014)
f) Module 1 - Physical (Oct 2014)
g) Module 2 - Esoteric (Oct 2014)
h) Module 3 - Psychoemotional (Oct 2014)
i) Module 4 - Mastery (Oct 2014)


To celebrate, I will be giving specials to people who've stumbled upon this blog via this list that people I keep mentioning about, also to those who've Liked my Facebook page, & you get more specials if you become a regular, especially when you become my next Client of The Year. 2015 is a pivotal time, why not take advantage of it? :D (My silly declaration / TY gift is valid only until February 9, 2015, 9pm, GMT+8; which should be my parents' would've-been-42nd anniversary, btw.)

I would love to talk about each & every class I took in detail, but I'll take it easy on you today. For now, what I can say is, my most favorite class would be World Relations, because that just blew me away...  

& to end this post, for now, here's what my most stubborn client in the last 2-something years has just told me, "I'm able to trust myself more now, thanks to you."

I *am* floored. I'm happy to be able to trust myself more now, too. ♥ ♥ ♥ 

#adayinthelifeofthisNewAgeGrrl 

(updated on May 21, 2015; 3:06 AM, GMT +8)

back in the game

Today is the second Monday of the last month of the year, just a couple of hours before another day unfolds, hehe. Hello again, everyone.

I have been gone for so long. Didn't realize 2013 would be this insanely busy. But this has been a most healing year for me, & believe me, I've tried to rush through it, but I've learned it's better to pace myself; to allow my body, mind, heart, & soul to recover.

I've met a lot of delightful new clients this year, for starters. I play favorites, even if that doesn't sound so savory, depending on their willingness to cooperate, their eagerness to learn, their generosity, their intelligence, even. Especially intelligence. I've always worked with strong personalities. I love it when they're most wonderful company. They inspire me to strive better, to aim for accuracy in my readings & healing sessions everytime, to become larger than life (not physique-wise, please, of course, haha). If they keep coming back (though again, I do NOT encourage codependency), I look for ways to reward them. & I'm glad to re-announce my humble specials for my regulars.

For every 3 paying referrals within the year, I will give a complimentary 30-minute reading online, either on a birthday or a special holiday (working days such as Valentine's, included). So, yes, the more referrals, the more consultations you get. You get a ThetaHealing® session, too, depending on your needs & preference. Especially when your birthday falls on an actual holiday. 

You also get to have the chance to be my esteemed Client of The Year, where you'll get humble little goodies such as wellness products I personally love (I gave facial GCs, lip balm, body butter, & sanitizers the last time), an astrology book (or two), & yes, complimentary services. Plus you get to be my priority in messaging or calling. I'll definitely throw in more surprises soon. My Client of The Year tradition started 3 years ago. The first ever was the Client of The Year for 2 years running. I still love her to bits. Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, Libra Rising. 

The second one, from last year, was a young Aquarian, with also a Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising. She also tried ThetaHealing®for herself, & swears by it, even if she, too, has a long way to go, like I do. She was always thoughtful. I will never forget her because she'd give me super-cool gifts (Kimmidoll keychains, jasmine massage oil, something my favorite bubble bath bar line, remembrances from her Vietnam trip, other accessories) & recommendations. 

Now the bet for this year is a lovely Taurus girl who just survived her first Saturn return. Gemini Moon, Libra Rising. My new meditation series is partly inspired by her. Let's see what happens. 

I also have a young Sagittarian male client whom I always reward after our 6-month-long progress. I already gave him a tiger's eye bracelet (very relevant for his journey), a few free readings with various decks, & extended time. 

& for everyone else who've made referrals to me out of sheer thoughtfulness but haven't made the mark yet for this year's offering from me, will also be remembered. Because I love you guys. Thank you for your trust! There's always my Facebook Page for quick one-card readings that you guys can indulge in, depending on the mechanics du jour, that have churned out pretty accurate readings by themselves, & yes, little random tokens that I hand out whenever least expected. ;)

I do my best to give back, even if sometimes I find myself depleted of anything to give, & I know that I've been always super-generous in every session I have, anyway. As much as possible, I don't withhold answers; I explain things very patiently, ad nauseam; I don't really bill down to the last minute. Though, please understand if I have to charge my rate by the hour, especially when there are people waiting for their turn. 

But seriously, I can't believe how much progress I've made at this point in time, until I meet clients again whom I haven't heard from in a year or so. It makes me think how painstaking my ThetaHealing® classes were. They're just as surprised as I am with how "far" I've gone in this journey. So far I've received certification for Game of Life (pretty much life-coaching, for spiritual people such as myself to become more grounded & succeed in temporal life like everyone else can & does), & RHYTHM (weight management, even if I haven't really bust a move on my body yet, hehe). I also took up basic past-life regression via a crystal layout, & I can't wait for the advanced class in 2 weeks. I know people keep asking me about that before, to which I replied, I wouldn't be able to do that just yet, until I'm really sure I can handle it. But tapping into past lives is so much easier now, especially with ThetaHealing®. Jeezus, so trippy. & I have people confirming them past lives I've seen, to boot! 

My life has changed so much because after all my attempts to keep my Tarot practice grounded, to the point of more as an intellectual pursuit, instead of bordering on hoodoo/woo-woo/juju, I've ended up embracing that side of it, even excelling at working with it, even! HAHA. What. But like I always say, only when it is meant to be worked on can I go ahead with it, to paraphrase Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist. & even before I got comfortable with the idea of me being a "healer," some of my clients already declare me being a healer, especially with how I can zoom in on their health via readings with much precision. & how I've been struggling to figure out to heal myself through alternative means. Instead of me being alarmed with all this further, I've decided to explore it, & yay, I'm actually a full-fledged conduit now. I'm just the facilitator, though. Just tapping into the Source of All That Is to allow it to heal others. Just witnessing how it's all happening. Just guiding everyone through the process. & the rest is up to them, whether they wish to really embrace recovery or not.

Just exactly what I do with my Tarot readings. I just witness things unfold. I just facilitate the actual reading, upon the request of the seeker/questioner/querent/client. I just guide them with the best to my knowledge, or with whatever else divinely inspired comes up, how to go through with things in their life at the time of reading. I cannot really impose myself on them. I don't want to, either. ThetaHealing® is helping me to become a better reader, & I'm doing my best to incorporate that modality into my readings, & vice versa. I am thankful for my one-stop-shop wellness center for introducing ThetaHealing® & making all this possible. Yay. I missed out on at least a couple of very important courses, though, like Diseases & Disorders as well as DNA3 this year, but there's always next year. & I'm praying I'd get to teach this as well soon. I am expecting that by the end of 2013 I'm more at peace, more energized, more determined, & more abundant with blessings. I'm still really managing how to become so. The process of changing, in line with Pluto in Capricorn & Uranus in Aries (squaring off, even, ugh), is painful but definitely worth it. I can't wait to manifest so much more wonderful experiences, trips, & things, not just Tarot decks. Got a couple of new finds, like the Feng Shui deck by the Connolly duo, & the Celestial deck, which was so much prettier than expected! 

Speaking of one of my clients calling me a healer long before I've realized I could actually be one, her delightful Pisces self (Virgo Rising) has invited me to conduct workshops & sessions in her spa somewhere up North. I will be checking it out tomorrow, & trying out some of her services there, since I'm a spa junkie, anyway, even if I don't look it, hehe. I am happy that this is the case, & I am hoping for other invites. I'll be accommodating, as much as my schedule permits. Right now I'm really swamped with Pluto (& Venus! UGH) issues, transiting my solar 4th House. Home repairs are a doozy & I'm itching to have everything revamped before the holidays, when the next Venus retrograde rolls in. But of course I have to pace myself. Everything's just a bit cumbersome now, as we speak, but my brother, housekeeper, my dog, & I are coping. 

Looks like this post has successfully answered all these questions I found at the last minute somewhere online to help me re-evaluate my 2013:

• How has your life improved in the last twelve months?
• What do you do easily now that you once thought was impossible?
• What have you accomplished this year that you couldn't have accomplished three years ago?
• What is one outcome you experienced this year that would have been inconceivable before?
• What are your results this year, compared to your results last year at this time?

So what about you? Do you want help in keeping tabs with your progress? Do you want more progress in life, too? What are your thoughts? If you want help, that's what I'm here for! There are many other avenues of help, though. I will be more than happy to make my own referrals here! & I'm still very grateful to everyone who has helped me along the way, especially this year. I've lost so much & gained so much at the same time. Share away at the tiny comments section, & you might just get a free quick one-card reading from me here! 

Please also stay tuned for my big blog revamp. Can't wait! 

"I don't have to sell my soul... He's already in me."

"Anti-Lamentation" 

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.

Not the nights you called God names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

- Dorianne Laux

Can't thank Lea Rose enough for this poem. Perfect for this gloomy week.

I just want to feel better, like the rest of you.

"Escape is never the safest path..." but honestly, what is?

Had a most surreal Good Friday when I had another reading that bordered on the supernatural/paranormal/occult, using my new Revelations Tarot deck. (Of all decks, it had to be that.) It made me re-think what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life, what I need to do with my Scorpio/Plutonian influences, & why I studied Tarot in the first place (ah, yes, to unlock the secrets of the Universe: 1) who am I?, 2) why am I here?, 3) when will I die?, 4) where am I headed?, 5) when will the world end?). Reading on a Good Friday + Full Moon is a most heady + bizarre + cathartic + cataclysmic experience. Especially while being powered by hazelnut soy cafe mocha, haha. & I spent the rest of my day doing readings, even remotely. I'm still wrapping my overdue email, though. I hope to be finished within the day.

I then had a dream about the Grim Reaper yesterday, who looked more like the figure in the Death card from my Morgan-Greer deck (& I'd rather not post images of cards like that, lest I'd attract their energy in my life), when I finally managed to doze off. There were grim songs playing, but songs I didn't mind hearing on loop, like probably Type O Negative's Love You To Death & tracks from Marilyn Manson. I could barely remember what was that main song buzzing in my head until I looked this up: **WARNING: NSFW**



& then it hit me. How could I forget this when this was one of the songs I personally liked because I could relate to it. I liked this & Korn's "Kick The PA" from the Spawn movie soundtrack, but I didn't expect this music video to be that grotesque + stylish. Haha. Emphasis on stylish! Very controversial, kinda relevant, with them goth Jesus & Mary depictions, just in time for the season. Lady Gaga won't ever be this captivating, I swear. :P

But yeah, this song has killer lines I feel like I myself would've written:

"Oh, Mary, to be this young is oh-so scary."

or

"You never said forever could hurt like this."

& of course,

"I wanna live, I wanna love, but it's a long hard road out of hell."

& I really didn't want to live anymore around that time, a few years before I stumbled upon Tarot. Tarot encompassed everything I really like: psychology, art, religion = mysticism = spirituality, & it helped me incorporate my penchant for astrology with my daily life, even if it had to take me 2 major tragedies in the family to accept what I already have in my possession. Everything I prayed for when I was younger (wisdom, strength, grace, all for peace of mind & stability's sake) finally manifested in my deck of cards (& a whole buncha other decks). I still am fumbling through it, even after 10 years of studying it & waiting with bated breath to get validation for my readings, but I believe now, more than ever, that it's meant to be, especially with how creepy it is all of a sudden for me to check back on my Midheaven (IC). This was from my sample Career Advice astrology report from Tarot.com:

Neptune in 10th house

You tend to have high aspirations and spiritual goals for your life. You enjoy helping others and are very idealistic. Whatever you achieve in your life will come from your own efforts without the help of your family. You are very sensitive to the feelings of the people around you and could be a very good diplomat. Chemistry and liquids could be related to your job or profession. You could experience great confusion when trying to choose your vocation, and may have some changes in your professional life. You will have to learn to be more decisive and consistent, leaving all your fantasies and doubts behind.

Ruler of 10th house ( Jupiter ) in 6th House

Your professional success is related to your ideas on service, & your ability to produce changes or transformations in yourself as well as others. No matter what profession you choose, it will be more gratifying for you if you feel that you are helping others. This astrological position favors professions linked to medicine, therapy or nutrition. If you do not have a career, you are likely to work in a company that provides some kind of service.

So yeah, I think I'm a bit happier now with where I am, though I'm still looking for more satisfaction & structure. & I most certainly can use more ideas on what to do with the rest of my life, aside from water sports, photography, cooking, yoga, crystal/color healing, & writing.

I think the point of me posting all this is I've re-realized what my role is as a reader. Regardless of what my seekers choose to do, all I can do is sadly be as objective as I can be, even if I personally negate their life choices. I can only present all the options available to them, but whether or not they choose world annihilation or world peace, I cannot really put a stop to it, not just yet. As much as it pains me that I'm like creating monsters along the way, I should remind myself that they already came to me with their plans fermenting within themselves. I can only shed light to those plans; help them acknowledge their Shadow. Whether or not they deviate from their paths at the last time after getting a reading, that's all up to them. Tarot can only help us become more responsible for ourselves, but it's still up us to actually do it. I am only like a lighthouse at some dock at the end of the day. They can't say I didn't warn them, however. I've already done my part, & I really should detach from my readings.

All I pray for now is for everyone to make the best decisions as much as possible that can help save this dying world, & stick with those. For now I'm truly grateful for the gift of divination bestowed upon me, & I acknowledge a Higher Power at work, that I am not at all omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. We are all free to live our lives the way we want to, but we should know that we still have our respective roles to play & duties to fulfill.

Oh, I haven't really decided upon my favorite card yet from the Revelations deck. Maybe the Star, because she's pretty especially when upright, & you can never really go wrong even with it reversed. Somehow I regret buying this deck, but I believe it has its purpose, too, especially with my complicated, contradictory Libra nature. :)



& maybe the Star would be the most apt, especially in validating my chosen "line of work" du jour, especially upon hearing this prayer over some FM radio station on my way home after that most crucial reading, "Make me a channel of hope & blessings." I really hope I get to become so despite myself, & that my own journey from that long hard road out of Hell would serve as an inspiration to others clawing their way out as well. Have a sacred weekend.

Mercury schmercury

As usual, I've been gone for so long. I'm so sorry. I've been a very sick girl since The Collective Art Fair & I'm still getting my moxie back. I look like shit, I feel like shit. I've treated a few random people like shit, too, unfortunately, just this month. Not even this pricey staycation at a tucked-away chi-chi place in my most favorite city & a getaway to the 2nd best beach destination in the world (my 2nd trip, too, for this year, alone at that!) helped make me feel better. I spent so much on doctor's fees, antihistamines, heavy-duty multivitamins, band-aids (yes, I injured my right thumb while jetskiing, WTF, after my hands went numb from parasailing solo), premier transport services, O2 (that's oxygen for you), cough remedies (Solmux & Sinecod & Strepsils) & ooh, high-grade honey products for this month alone & it's disheartening. Add to that my damaged hair woes, my blotched face (no thanks to allergies & my drat period), & deepening frown/scowl lines from all these complaint letters I had to write this month. Despite my best efforts to stay healthy & sane. I hate this month. What a rip-off. But I'm still happy for them little highlights I've enjoyed. & I have fellow Air signs as loyal clients lately. I'll throw you ladies a surprise, don't worry. But I'm glad my readings are spot-on for them. I just hope it would be like that for the rest of my clientele.

I still have a couple of lengthy emailed readings to send out later today, & I have so many other things to review here, like finally, my own Revelations Tarot deck (YOWZA! THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME!), my new massage oil, my local Ayurveda experience, & this awesome Heal & Energize Your Life talk at my new favorite haunt Corner Tree Cafe that I attended just last week. I've talked to Ms. Rosan Cruz about having a chakra healing seminar, & I'm hoping my friends/students can go before Ms. Moni Platt leaves the country next month. Should be slated around April 5, Maundy Thursday, 9pm-6pm, within Makati. If fellow budding healers/energy workers are interested, please leave a comment here so we can discuss this. The seminar should be limited to 20 people max. I'm hoping I can bring at least 4-6 more people in. I've learned so much during the 2-hour-talk, & it was a wonderful, serendipitous experience. I'm worried it might not push through, but I got the Healing card from my Osho Zen deck (cf. King of Cups) for it, so yeah, I do pray it happens. We really could use it. I've been meaning to study Reiki ever since 2007, for starters, & about time I'd be ready for it.

I'm also trying to tidy up my space. I've figured I'll just stay at home today & finish everything I need to work on. (That's exactly what this Mercury retrograde energy is for, yeah? But if only Mercury didn't have to be in Pisces. I was already revved up when there was a Sun-Mercury Rx conjunct in Aries, only to be stuck like Velcro again, argh.) It was the most quiet Gemini Moon night, btw, I've ever had last night. But the awesome star-studded must-watch feel-good Muppets movie made up for it. Quite fitting to watch during a Mercury in Pisces in retrograde season, eh? "For them lovers, dreamers, & Me." Heh. & I'm beginning to appreciate song-&-dance numbers in movies (especially this fantastic brief [500] Days of Summer moment with Hall & Oates in the background, haha). & by checking my online movie transaction logs, I haven't been to my favorite cinema since August last year! :( So I guess I deserve a break.

& a break I shall continue to have within the year, especially after stumbling upon this article on my News Feed earlier today. HOLY SHIT, THE STORY OF MY LIFE RIGHT HERE!

"Your life is precarious. When you were in high school and college, you treated your mortality like it was a crappy purse. You stomped on it, broke a strap, let a vodka bottle spill out and ruin the leather. You did all of this believing it would all be repaired while you were sleeping, and it usually was. You reach a point, however, when the leather stays torn, when the piece of crap bag becomes beaten beyond repair. Simply put, you have to take a more proactive role in maintaining your happiness and well-being. You’re not just someone watching their own life from afar. You’re in it now. And if you don’t take care of it, it will fall to pieces."

"There’s a certain kind of beauty with being reckless with your body and mind. Closing the chapter on that and actively becoming the person you’re going to be feels great but it’s also a tad bittersweet."

"Sometimes you want to go back to being the person you were before all the bad stuff happened, but you know that’s impossible. So you just bid adieu to that time and look towards your future. (FYI, it looks super bright!)"

& that, ladies & gentlemen, is how I got into Tarot in the 1st place, about 10 years ago. I'm still flailing around. Anyway, I can never thank my friends & eventually family for helping me bounce back from my self-destructive heydays. I'll really just do my best to stay out of trouble from now on, even if my impatience & impetuousness are getting the best of me again. (I promise not to talk to strangers today, lest I'd lash out at them unsuspectingly, under a crazy Sun-Pluto square, on my Lunar return.) I can't believe I'm this old na, even if I still keep getting mistaken for a 25/27- year-old brat. I miss my youth, but I'm just so glad I'm at this stage in my life where I'm really beginning to enjoy my existence as I now know my purpose more here. I just don't want to be too serious yet like how I've been ever since, & I've been contemplating on childlessness like hell earlier. I mean, if you've been reading this blog since day one, or if you know me in person, you should know by now I don't want kids EVER. (OK, maybe just one, if I do get married, haha, whateverrr, but I'll be 40 in a few years & I'm still not taking care of myself as much as I'm supposed to? So how's that gonna happen? No, I don't want to read my cards about it.)

(& no thanks to that article as well as this season, I've been thinking again about how I've made my ex-fiance suffer so much when all he wanted primarily was to be just some "gas filler" (& I'd be Lightning McQueen, LOL) even if he did promise to laze around a beach in possibly Corsica with me, among other things, if we do manage to grow old together. Today is his 30th birthday, actually, & I can only wish him the best from afar this way. [Yes, I'm quite older than him, but quite as immature.] I still love him for being so kind to me during our time together, but maybe being apart like this is much better for the both of us in the long run. I'm still hoping he's already forgiven me, even if it's all I've ever asked the heavens after our disdainful breakup.)

Anyway, my scatterbrained self is going off-tangent again. But lemme share with you how last night's coincidental Twitter discussion was about The Empress card. I've befriended a young artist who's getting to learn how to read Tarot & when I RT'd The Tarot Lady's draw of the Empress reversed, she mentioned she got her, too. So I asked her what does She represent to you now? So she gave me the usual meaning for it, while I said, literally, it could mean me taking myself out on a date (again), honoring myself, having a Me Party, & Miss Piggy declaring herself irreplaceable. HAHA. No, seriously. Tarot's much more fun to learn when you begin to realize how literal they can be (& that's how you get crazy accurate readings sometimes). #tarottips

I'll probably hold another Tarot-reading workshop in May. I can't wait to surf + skimboard (this was actually fun this month, haha) next month & then laze around a much quieter beach weeks after. I believe in signs all the more now, & I know I'll be back by the sea once I'm done. But first, must declutter, must email, must revamp this blog layout (watch out for a really girly display, haha), & must realign everything else. I've wasted too much time already on a wrong platform so I'm working my way back here. :)