haha, gacked off MindBodyGreen

10 Things You Should Never Apologize For

By Andrea Speir

Sometimes it's good to apologize, but sometimes it's not...Here are ten things you should never apologize for:

1. Laughing from your core.

It seems to me that somehow, through life and social upbringing, we are taught not to laugh loud and hard like we did as kids. I have to say, how great does it feel when someone catches you off guard with something truly hilarious and you release that loud, from the gut laugh. It is such a rush of adrenaline to release such a raw, powerful and joyful emotion. Life is too short to be scared to laugh.

2. Loving someone with everything you’ve got.

The very first time you had a crush on someone, and they didn’t like you back, you got stung. They didn’t ask you to dance at the junior high dance. Your high school sweetheart moved away to college and you did as well. These moments all build on each other, each making the next venture in love more careful and well thought out. This can be a good thing. We learn to love wisely and for the right reasons in an attempt to avoid pain.  

The risk is we also build walls that shield us from great moments and people, loves and adventures. If we continue to view relationships as either risky or safe, how will we know if we missed out on letting our heart guide us?  

Love must be a risk, and we must never apologize to ourselves, our lovers, our family, or our friends for past trauma or emotions. Embrace them and move forward. Move into love.

3. Making time to read a book.

Literature is the one way we communicate with the past and present. We tell each other stories about our lives and the world. We give each other ways of escaping into different realities. Don’t feel like you should be doing something else or that you’re wasting time.

4. Looking at the moon and commenting on the shape and size.

You know you do it. The moon is completely majestic and amazing. It embodies wonder and beauty. We cannot fully comprehend it, and yet we can relish in the light it shines in the dark on everyone, everywhere.  

Stopping to “ooh and ahh” at a little crescent or a full, yellow moon is a moment of literally stopping to smell the roses. You are stopping to acknowledge beauty that is beyond yourself. 

5. Telling someone the truth, even when it would be easier not to.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think we all agree there are moments when not saying the truth of what is on your mind is the kinder choice. However, there is no need to feel guilty or apologetic for expressing what you truly and honestly believe. That takes courage and strength.

Be the kind of friend you would want to have.

6. Never speaking to an ex again.

It didn’t work out, and that is rough.  

No matter how good of a friend they were to you, your mind has an emotional weight on it when it comes to this person. If being friends is completely fine, I’m not saying cut someone out. However, there should be pressure for you to feel like their emotional well-being is your responsibility or keeping them in your life will be easier for your well-being.  

7. Asking questions.

Not knowing is one thing. Having the courage to say “I don’t understand” is another.

8. Trying something new.

Maybe you tried paddleboarding for the first time on your family vacation, cooking a new recipe, or took a zumba class and it wasn’t your thing.  Oh well! You tried it. The little decisions like that are what build up a courage in our everyday lives.

9. Watching the sparkles on the ocean.

In my opinion, there are few things more beautiful than the little sparkles on the tip of the ocean waves. Anytime you are around a natural beauty, stop and stare. Don’t feel bad for not talking, not looking at your phone or thinking about work. If something is beautiful, allow it to make you feel something, even if you don’t know what that something is.

10. Spoiling yourself on your birthday.

Why not? It’s your birthday! The one day a year you have to stop and think about you.  That’s not vain, no apologies for caring about yourself. Make it a tradition of celebrating yourself every year. Even if it’s as simple as buying yourself a cupcake or taking the time to go on a walk, reading a book in a park, or stopping for that tasty, chocolaty latte you crave. Love starts from within. If other people are allowed to celebrate you, it should start with you thanking yourself for being you.

Published August 30, 2012 at 11:44 AM

About Andrea Speir

Andrea Speir is a Los Angeles based Pilates instructor. She enjoys kicking butt in her Pilates studio, drinking lattes at least twice daily, and writing as a creative way to express herself and connect with others. Connect with her at:

Facebook: facebook.com/andreaspeirpilates.com

Websites: andreaspeirpilates.com and pilatesstyle.com/category/pilates-blog/andrea-speir

Tags: forgiveness, happiness, love, mindfulness, personal growth, relationships, wellness